Day 323

These last days are turning into the longest. Every time I look at those pills or those needles I can't help but think "isn't this over with yet?"

I know....there's only 12 more days to go.....

I'm not feeling that bad really. It's just that the side effects are really wearing thin on my nerves. Maybe it's just the anticipation of not having to do this anymore.

I can't wait until the day comes that I don't itch....that I'm not tired from walking out to my car....I can't wait for the day my bones and joints don't ache and I'm not swallowing ibuprofen until my ears ring so loud that I have to have everyone repeat what they're saying.

Yes I'm whinning. It's either that or I'll explode.

You know it gets to the point, after tx has been so long, that you start to hate hearing yourself bitch about how you feel.....but most of the time you feel like shit so how do you not bitch?

I try not to. I try to keep it to myself. I imagine, even though he'd never say so, Jimmy has to be tired of dealing with how I feel also.

12 more days.

Just 12 more days.....

Day 321

14 days to go. Finally I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Yesterday was kind of ruff....I think last week has started catching up to me. Lot's of fatigue and joint pain. I went to bed early last night trying to escape it and I think that helped a little.

This morning waking up is slow and my brain fog is pretty heavy, but at least the joint pain is much lighter.

I did manage to finish setting up our TV and all of it's components. Wow was that a trip! What ever happened to plugging stuff in and having it work? Took me 2 days to set it all up correctly with brain fog. It's horrible when you read a manual 4 times before being able to comprehend what it's trying to tell you to do.

Now we'll have the Geek Squad come in with their computers to calibrate the tv and sound to fit the room and it will be perfect.

Monday....ugh....back to work. At least this is a 3 day work week. I'm off for New Years Day and the day after.

2 More Peg. shots to go.....56 more ribavirin..... 12 (plus whatever it takes to get my counts back up) more Nuepogen and Procrit shots.

I can't wait until this is all over.....

Day 319

Well Christmas is finally over. All in all it was a wonderful week!

Jimmy worked pretty much non stop for the past 2 weeks making 2 lamps for Nick, Jen and Amanda. I helped where ever I could drawing the patterns onto glass, grinding the pieces and wrapping them in foil....but still Jimmy stayed up night after night all night long to finish them. 75 hours of work in each lamp!

It was worth it.....they came out beautiful!

Christmas Eve Nick and Jen came over to hang out with us for a while and to exchange gifts. I loved the look on their faces when they opened the box! It was priceless.

Christmas morning turned a little ruff on me but I downed some Ibuprofen and a cup of coffee and got my body moving. I didn't exactly get my house cleaned as well as I would have liked but it was passable. I did get dinner together and that actually turned out pretty good!

All the rest of the kids came for Christmas Day along with my Father in law and Charlie (Crystal and Cory's Dad). It was a nice house full!

My kids and their Father actually found me a dish washer for the counter top! lol....it's a Great present for me....but it's also a nice present for the kids. They don't have as many dishes to do now! lol. I love it and it fits perfectly.

After dinner and after setting up the dish washer, we all sat down and played a couple games of UNO minus Jimmy who had to spend most of the day laying on the bed due to throwing his back out and having a hangover to top it off. Poor guy killed his back making the lamps and then he went out on Christmas Eve to celebrate completing them on time with his Daughter and a couple of friends. He paid dearly Christmas day.

Anyway, hanging out with all the kids and playing cards was so much fun.

Christmas Day was wonderful (minus my sweet husbands pain).

Yesterday Jimmy and I ventured out to go to Best Buy to find our Christmas present to each other. Started out to be the wrong day to go but then it turn out great! Traffic was a killer! People where everywhere. It was nuts! Best Buy was sold out of everything that we wanted and we decided to head back home to a closer local store instead. On the way home we ran across Rex's and almost didn't stop but then turned around and went back.

We got a nice big Plasma TV with a stand and a new receiver for our surround sound. We tried to get a Blue Ray player but they were out of them.

It was time to get rid of our old beat up big screen tv and it turned out to be a perfect present for the both of us.....although this morning I still have to finish setting it up. Oh what insanity that is!!!! What ever happened to just plugging stuff in and having them work? no no Now you have to run configurations and set ups on each component. Takes a Rocket Scientist just to get the tv to work with a receiver! lol

Last night was shot night and yep I'm paying this morning for having such a wonderful week. Everything hurts and fatigue is kickin' my ass. Thank God I have today and tomorrow to recuperate before I go back to work on Monday!

16 Days to go.......

Have a Beautiful Day everyone!

Day 317

Merry Christmas!

Day 315

Tx gave me a birthday present....a day that feels pretty ok. Outside of the cracked ears that I have again and some fatigue, I don't feel half bad!

The day outside is turning out to beautiful as the sun comes up and I think it's actually going to get a little warmer out. It's been hanging out at around 5 degrees and it's headed to the upper 30's today.

The day at work shouldn't be bad. We have our company Christmas lunch and it's not really a big work day because most other companies that we work with will be doing the same.

Jimmy gave me a gift certificate to a local golf course for my birthday. Part of my "after tx to-do list" is to take golf leasons. Last year for Christmas I got a set of really nice golf clubs and I haven't gotten the chance to use them yet because of treatment. I figured that when I do I wanted to learn the game a bit better....thus the golf leasons. By Spring I'll be all ready to put both the clubs and the certificate to good use!

20 days to go! :) I can't wait!

Enjoy the day!

Day 314

Each weekend I find my self bracing for the Interferon side effects and weekend after weekend they come. But every once and a while, for no particular reason, the sides decide to take it easy on me.

This was one of those weekends. Ibuprofen killed off most of the body aches and my fatigue level was low enough to ignore most of the time.

With Christmas this week Jimmy and I needed it! (I'll tell you why later....shhhhh...it's a secret)

Boy would it be nice to have the remaining 3 weekends turn out like this past one. I won't hold my breath....but it would be nice.

This is a 2 day work week and I can't be happier to see it come. Today will be nuts since I have only one day to complete payroll instead of the usual 3. It should make the day go faster.

Tomorrow is our plant Christmas party so that should make tomorrow go fast also.

Oh yeah.....and tomorrow is also my 43rd birthday. This will be the very first time in my entire life that I've had to work on my birthday. Usually when it falls on a work day I'll take a vacation day for it. This year I can't see waisting a vacation day while on tx. I'd rather save it for after I'm finished and use it for something fun.

21 more days to go!

Have a Beautiful Day!

Day 311

How can a week be long but the Fridays seem to pop up back to back? Makes no sense I know.....

Yep It's Friday again!

I'm feeling pretty good though. That's a good sign going into the weekend with a Peg. shot due tonight. Maybe this weekend won't be so bad. Other than that same ole brain fog and slightly hung over feeling...the rest of my body seems to be somewhat happy. My fingers are crossed for the weekend.

I haven't heard anything from Hershey yet on my Lymphocyte count from Tuesday. I won't hear about the CD4 count until early next week. I wonder if they'll call today, knowing that this is my shot night, if my absolute count is still below 500.

24 days to go.....

Have an Awesome weekend!

Day 310

Thursday. I woke up this morning feeling pretty ok. It's kind of nice to wake up in the morning and not have body aches for once. Brain fog is hanging around a little but hey I can't have everything!

Ribavirin has been playing with my mind again I think. I'm getting aggravated at the little things again. Things that would usually just get a second of thought are really irritating me lately. It's like PMS on steroids!

For instance, my morning ritual is to go online and read our local newspaper. In the paper there's always an article called "Dear Dr. Donahue". This mornings headline for his article is "Hepatitis C often has a positive prognosis".

It reads:
DEAR DR. DONOHUE: Please save my life. I was diagnosed with hepatitis C five years ago. Tests now say I need treatment. I am scared to death of treat­ment, about which I have heard horror stories. I have an older husband who will not make it without me. I feel great and have terrific energy. I am 59. Is there something other than the standard treatment I can take? – S.D.
ANSWER: Infection with the hepati­tis C virus leads to chronic liver infec­tion in 85 percent of patients. However, illness doesn’t appear until 10 to 20 years after infec­tion. At that time, about 20 percent of infected people develop liver cirrhosis, and 1 percent to 4 percent come down with liver cancer. That means 75 percent of patients do not develop serious liver disease. Treatment is necessary when evidence of the virus can be found in the blood and when the liver shows changes that indicate cir­rhosis will be a likely out­come. Most of the time, that’s determined through micro­scopic examination of liver tissue obtained by a needle biopsy.

Who has given you the horror stories of treatment?

It’s not a picnic, but it isn’t as terrifying as it has been portrayed to you.

Ribavirin is one of the drugs used. Its worst side effect is ane­mia, a drop in the red blood cell count. Stopping the drug just about always returns the count to normal.

Peginterferon is the other drug used in treatment. Its most common side effect is flulike symptoms: headache, muscle pain, fever, nausea and vomiting.

Appropriate medicines can control these symptoms.

It also can produce a drop in both the white and red blood cell counts. It has aggravat­ed depression and given a few people thoughts of sui­cide. Hair-thinning is anoth­er possible side effect. The list of potential side effects is long. Most resolve when the drug is stopped. And most patients complete therapy without having to greatly modify their activi­ties during treatment. Peginterferon is injected under the skin once a week. People learn how to inject themselves. There are no other effec­tive treatments.

"Appropriate medicines can control these symptoms"??? Yeah really? And by the way I think he missed a few side effects (like Brain fog and Major FATIGUE!)... not to mention that the few "Appropriate Medicines" that they do give come side effects of their very own.

"And most patients complete therapy without having to greatly modify their activities during treatment." - What? I'm sorry but outside of my dragging my ass to work, which is a very difficult thing to do on tx, my life is about laying on the couch or going to bed. I have no life and I don't know anyone on tx who does. "Without having to greatly modify their activities"? - What the hell ...my whole life is greatly modified!

Oh yeah, and I don't think that he mentioned that tx can last up to 48 weeks.....or even 72 weeks like Teah, for some Geno Types.

Don't get me wrong....Tx is do-able. But when someone just blows it off as no big deal it makes me want to inject their ass with interferon and feed them ribavirin for a couple of weeks just so they can get a feel for it before they nonchalantly blow it off as no big deal.

I realize that Doctors try to sway patients toward tx and not scare them off. The more that people get treated the less people there are in the world carrying this virus around and spreading it. When asked a question like this, I just don't understand why they try to pass all of the side effects of tx off as no big deal.....had I gone into tx thinking that, I would never have made it past week 2. Being informed and prepairing myself for what I was going through made me not panic when I started feeling like hell fell on me.

Is tx do-able? Yes

Is it worth it? Hell Yes.

Is it even slightly easy? F*** No!

Yep.....that's my Riba-rage session for the day!

Tune in tomorrow.....same bat time....same bat station!

Day 309

Hershey went ok yesterday. It'll take a week before I hear back on my blood counts. I should hear back from them by around next Tuesday. My Research Nurse is still leaning toward my tx being stopped before the 48 week mark. I think everyone is waiting for me to end tx so that we can find out if my counts return. They say that I would never have made it this far in tx without the Nuepogen and Procrit....but at the same time they don't really like that my counts have run so low even though I've been taking the Procrit and Nuepogen. While taking them, my counts should be much higher. So the question is - Will my counts be able to bounce back when I stop tx?

I'll be on Nuepogen and Procrit until they do. I'm sure they will. I have a resilient body. It's bounced back easily from everything else life has thrown at it.

I didn't have to do the interview with the quality of life research doctor. He filled his quota for information before I got to Hershey yesterday. Still I'd love to know where he'll go with the research.....

It's Wednesday and I think the brain fog is much better today then it has been. I took Nuepogen last night and my bones ache a bit, but it's nothing that good ole ibuprofen won't settle down. This will just be a slow moving day that's all.

Everyone is right about the last few weeks being so hard. I'm not sure if it's because all of these drugs are so built up in my body that it's wearing me down....or is my body just simply starting to scream out for the end to tx.

26 more days to go....

Enjoy the day!

Day 308

Can you believe that Christmas is next week already? I got almost all of my shopping done....online of course. All I have left to do is to grab a few things for stockings. That's going to require going into a store. At least it'll be a short trip.

Today's a Hershey day. Gotta make sure my blood counts are still holding their own.

I'm also going to spend some time talking to a Doctor who is researching the quality of life for a Hep C patient. I can't help but wonder what he'll do with his research....

It's probably not a good day to talk to this guy....brain fog is thick and my brain doesn't want to work it's way through it for some reason today.

Maybe by the time I get to Hershey it'll be better...

Have a Good Day Everyone.

Day 307

It's MOnday already and the weekend was a total washout.

Outside of drawing some patterns on glass and wrapping some Christmas presents (thank God for online shopping), I spent the whole weekend on the couch.

4 shots and 29 days to go....I wonder what it will be like to have my weekends back again. I miss them.

Last night I felt the worst and I wound up in bed at 6:30. I took a sleeping pill in hopes that the sleep would bring me a better Monday morning. I think it helped a little. Maybe if I get my body moving I'll shake some of it off.

Have a nice Monday everyone.

Day 304

It's Friday again isn't it?

Yep.....it's Friday.

Good news is that I'll be one more shot down. Bad news is that I feel like crap.

My body aches don't seem to want to go away this week and now with another Nuepogen shot under my belt from last night my bones are aching in unison.

I thought that maybe the sleeping pills where starting to cause me to feel hung over in the morning so I didn't take any last night. It was a big mistake because I couldn't fall to sleep until almost midnight. So here I am this morning still feeling that hang over feeling along with the lack of sleep on top of the body and bone aches.

whaaaaaaaa

Instead of the sleeping pills I'm starting to think that I simply may not be drinking enough water again. It's sometimes something that I forget to do at work when I'm busy. I'll have to make a conscious effort to count how much I drink.

There is always that "tx sides do what ever they want to do" thing. But I still have to have faith that there's something ....anything that I can do to make myself feel better especially since tonight is Peg. night.

For now I'll down a cup of coffee along with some Ibuprofen, take a shower and make my very old feeling body start to move.

34 days to go. Iris and Terry are right the end of tx is starting to feel hard again.

I hope I snap out of this.....

Have a Wonderful Friday Everyone.

Day 303

Yesterday was just another day of aches and pains .....nothing that Ibuprofen couldn't tackle. Although I have to try to not take it so much. I try to take one at a time to space them out. When joint aches combine with bone aches it becomes a little hard not to take too many ibuprofen.

This morning the bone aches are gone and the joint aches are tuned down a few notches, so hopefully today will be easy on me.

The weather outside is horrible. They're calling for major ice. It's been icing on and off with rain pretty much since around 2 am but hasn't really hurt the roads yet. The rain and salt seems to be washing the roads free of the ice so far. Hopefully if the roads are going to get nasty, they get nasty before I have to leave for work and not while I'm at work. I've been stuck there once before and I had fun waiting it out at a close by bar.....but I can't drink now and really don't want to hang out there drinking soda. lol

Have a Nice and Safe Day everyone!

Day 301

It's Tuesday and the body aches and pains are still hanging in there along with some major brain fog.

It's not so bad that I can't function. It's just bad enough to make me feel like crap and trying to think straight is a fight.

Because it is Tuesday I would have thought my little drummer boy would have let up by now...but nooooo the little jerk has torment me for as long as he can.

I'll grab the ibuprofen once again to shut him up. The brain fog I'm sort of stuck with.

One nice thing about it being so cold out right now is that the crisp cold air temporarily snaps me out of the fog. I wish I could just keep a bucket of ice water next to my desk at work.

Yesterday I was almost faced with having to calculate a few very long lists of numbers....it struck terror into my head! It was all over a spread sheet being off by 16 cents. I knew why it was off....I just could think clearly enough to reason it out. It was a frustrating half hour of sitting there and talking it out loud before I was able to make my brain cooperate. Thank God because the last thing that I needed was to try to run long rows of numbers through a calculator! I would have been there all night starting it over and over again and in my head I knew the Exel was calculating on the spread sheet right....the total was -16 cents for a reason. Brain fog was just blocking me from the explanation.

There are times when a work day is really ruff. I am so thankful that I work with an incredibly understanding friend who I probably drive nuts sometimes with my rambling. But Susan is always there helping me through it. I couldn't have made it through work without her support.

Tuesday...Nuepogen night....with and hope and a lot luck, I'll be rid of the body aches and pain before the Nuepogen brings on the bone aches. It sucks to get both at the same time.

Hey! I broke 300 days! 34 more to go....

Have an Awesome Tuesday everyone!

Day 300

On Saturday I got a call from my Hershey Doctor checking to see how I was doing with the restart. That's a first.

For whatever reason this shot sent my little drummer boy thumping up and down my body. Aches and pains everywhere. It was an ibuprofen weekend.

This stuff is so unpredictable. I would have thought it would be easier on my since I hadn't taken the shot for 2 weeks. You can never tell what it's going to do....

I did manage to help my son get the tree up on Saturday night and on Sunday I took the morning to decorate it. Christmas Tree and stockings are the extent of my decorating this year....Simple, Pretty and easy to put away.

Other than a few loads of laundry, I stayed couch bound for the rest of the time.

This morning the little drummer boy is gone but the hangover and brain fog have taken hold. I'm sure that it'll get better as the day goes on.

Oh yeah......and I got a lot of Christmas shopping done online yesterday also. I'm actually almost done.

Have a Nice Monday everyone.

Day 298

Yep it's Saturday morning and I know I took Interferon last night.

Outside of getting the Christmas tree up today, I think this will be a couch weekend.

On a positive note, after more than a full week of having a gigantic painful abscess lump on the back of my head, it finally decided to relieve it's pressure yesterday (trying not to be gross) and this morning it feels more like a sore spot than an angry little drummer boy with a pick axe. Thank God I was actually able to sleep on my back last night!

What do I have.....5 more shots to go......37 days.

I'm getting closer.

Have a Nice Weekend everyone.

Day 297

Herrrrrrre's Friday!

Time to jump back in the Peg. saddle again. YeeHaw!

I'm not going to think about it. It's time to get back to finishing this off.

Not that is does me any good to know, but I think I've figured out that it's the Ribavirin that dries my skin and scalp out so very badly. A week into restarting it my scalp has gone right back to needing the Hot Six oil again. Dry itchy scalp is not good on the sore as hell lump that I have on the back of my head. I'll try to keep the oil off of the abscess. Not to mention that I'll try not to scratch!

The kid's will be here over this weekend and I'm hoping that they'll help me get the tree up. I can't believe that Christmas is only a few weeks away!

Time flies when you're having fun. lol

Enjoy your Friday!

Day 296

Thursday already! What a strange week this has been.

At least the abscess on the back of my head is slowly starting to go down a little. Maybe the hot compress helped some last night.

I can't believe that the first week of December is already almost gone. I have yet to get started Christmas shopping!

I'm thankful for Christmas....it'll make the time go by faster.

Have a Nice day everyone.

Day 295

With 40 days to go I'm restarting the Peg. on Friday as per Hershey.

While my Absolute Lymphocytes are below 500, my T Cells are holding their own just above 200...so onward we push.

I'm not looking forward to restarting the Peg but I will make it to the end of this thing.

It's funny because with so many people being pulled I was beginning to except that I may be pulled also. Somewhere in my brain I began feeling a little relieved that maybe it was all over....I was excepting that since I cleared the virus by week 2 of tx that maybe 40 weeks of tx was enough. I was talking myself into it.

The news yesterday became a double edged sword. On one side of it I'll be able to put the last 6 nails into my Dragons coffin.....on the other side of it I'll be back on the Peg.

This morning I've had enough time for it to sink in. My mind is turning back to getting into the battle. By the time I take the shot on Friday night I'll be ready for the fight.

40 days...6 injections of Peg, 23 more injections of Nuepogen and Procrit (plus whatever it takes after tx ends to return my Platelets and Nuetrophils back to normal levels) and 160 more Ribavirins to go....

I've come this far...I'll make it to the end.

"Hang in there T Cells, we're almost done."

Day 294

I spoke to my study nurse yesterday and she has my CD4 count back but hasn't spoken to my doctor yet. She has to get the orders from her before she can pass them on to me.

The good news is that she was able to tell me is that my CD4 cells have come back just barley over 200. They're still holding their own.

We're waiting to hear from the Doctor that I'll be restarting the Peg. probably on Friday.

In the mean time I have an appointment with my family physician this morning to look at the abscess on the back of my head. Damn thing.

I don't know if the abscesses will have a bearing on what my Doctor decides.....I guess I find out today.

Waking up this morning is a little ruff again. I can tell that I've restarted the Ribavirin. My energy level has fallen back down to a slower pace. It feels pretty much like yesterday morning...waking up was slow but after a while I started feeling better. I'm sure that today will be more of the same.

So thats it for now. That's all that I know.

I wonder what little dramas today will bring.........

7:15 am
lol, not 10 minutes after publishing this post I got a call from my family doctors office. He's off sick today and can't see patients! What Luck I have!
There is a Doctor that's covering him but I don't like her at all.....he said that I could go to the ER here to have it checked out, but I don't ever plan to step foot back in that place again.
I'll talk to Sandy today and see what she says.
It's never ending isn't it!

Day 293

I can definitely tell that I re-started the Ribavirin, my energy level went from very high to a bottomed out.

On Saturday I finished cleaning the art studio and by early evening the fatigue kicked backed in. Yesterday was spent on the couch and this morning isn't much better.

I also have to call the doctor this morning. Last week I had what I thought was just an ingrown hair or something that abscessed and then drained (gross I know...sorry). Now I have another one on the back of my head. It looks like a huge lump and it's painful as hell. This one doesn't seem to want to go away.

I know it's from my low blood counts.....I'm getting infections.

I should hear from Hershey today about my Lymphocytes. Because I'm having infections back to back now I'm thinking that they've gone too low and that they'll probably pull me off tx.

At this point, after 2 back to back ear infections and now 2 abscesses....maybe it is time to stop. My body is painfully beginning to beg for an end to it.

I guess I'll know later today.

Have a Nice Monday everyone!

Day 290

Wow I got energy yesterday. Too much energy actually.

I woke up yesterday morning a 2:30 a.m. and that was it...I couldn't sleep. Not even a sleeping pill would helped. I wound up getting out of bed and began cleaning our art studio. At 7 I started our Thanksgiving dinner and cooked all day. By 7:30 I still couldn't relax so I went back to cleaning the studio for about an hour. Finally, after all of that, I made myself tired and went to bed.

I slept all night and didn't have to take a sleeping pill.

Whats up with that? Is my body reacting to not having Ribavirin or Interferon poured into it?

I don't know but I like the energy....at the same token I would kind of like it dialed down a notch.

LOL...Just can't be happy can I?

Anyway I slept all night and now here I am feel pretty dog gone ducky.

I started the Ribavirin back up last night but I don't think my body has figured that out yet. I'm hoping that I get a few days before it starts hitting.

I'm still on hold for the Interferon until around Monday when I find out whether I end tx completely or I continue on.

For now I think I'll just enjoy the day with my good ole friend Ducky!

Day 289

So I got a call from Hershey last night on my way home from work.

It wasn't what I expected....I'm still holding off on my interferon. My Lymphocytes have dropped below 500 and they're running the CD4/CD to see if my T cells are below 200. That takes about a week to run the test so I won't have the results until at least Monday.

Because my friend Dorene has just gotten the news that they've pulled her from tx due to low Lymphocytes I figured I'd try to give it a stab to see if I can try to explain what this is all about....although I may not have a total picture and I can only explain it in layman terms(I am NOT a Doctor).....

Lymphocytes are made up of 2 different types - T-cells and B-cells.

Both cells work to recognize foreign invaders like bacteria or a virus. Once the infection is recognized, B cells work to neutralize the infection and T cells produce toxic granules to induce the death of the bacterial or viral cells.

I'm sure there's a whole lot more to it than my sorry little paragraph explains....but that's the gist of it.....as I know it.

When our blood has been tested over these past few months since tx began, they've been watching our Lymphocytes because the trial drug caused many of us to have low counts.(Some of us where pulled from the trial at 12 weeks and some of those are still waiting for their counts to go back to normal.) The test that they usually run is an absolute count. If the absolute count falls below 500 they run a CD4/CD count. This test specifically measures the percentage of CD4 T cells in the blood. If the CD4 T cell is below 200 life becomes a little more dangerous. The bodies ability to recognized and kill off invading bacteria and virus' becomes compromised (much like an AIDS patient).

When the count is less than 200, interferon has got to be stopped because interferon itself can suppress the bone marrow from producing Lymphocytes.

......That's how I understand it. I may be wrong, so let me know if I am.

Anyway, this is not the first time that my Lymphocytes have come back below 500. But when they did the further testing I was above 200 so tx continued.

I realize that this time may be different since I have had 2 ear infections back to back in a very short period of time.

If they decide to pull me from tx....so be it.

I'm hoping that I've already slayed my bastard of a Dragon since I was undetectable at week 2. I didn't want to gamble by stopping tx 7 weeks early....but I think the gamble of playing with totally screwing up my immune system versus the now low risk of not clearing the virus......it's just not worth it.

Hopefully Monday will come and they'll tell me that my count is still above 200.

No matter how I look at it I am blessed. I'm happy and surrounded by a beautiful loving family and an incredibly wonderful Husband.

I am thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving Day Everyone!

Day 288

Thanksgiving eve and it's already been a week since I've taken Ribavirin and week and a half since I took the Interferon. It's definitely given me a nice little break from feeling like I've got the flu.

At the same time I can tell that it's going to take a while for these drugs to filter out of my system. The fatigue still hangs out in the background telling me that this is not over with yet....don't push it too hard.

That's ok, because it's not flooring me. Outside of the bone aches from the Nuepogen last night I feel pretty good! After I grab the Ibuprofen to help get rid of that I should feel even better.

With the Holiday I'm thinking that I won't hear from Hershey to restart until Friday.

Tonight I'll bake the pies, pumpkin roll and make the stuffing. My daughter is coming over to spend the night to help me cook tonight and tomorrow.

This will be the first time in my life that the holidays will not make me long for my own family (Mom, Dad, Brothers and Sisters)....this virus and treatment has finally, after all of these years, made me realize that they are and always have been gone. I think that I can be ok with that.

It's Thanksgiving and I have sooooo much to be thankful for.....Life is beautiful.

Have a Beautiful Thanksgiving Everyone!

Back From Hershey

Well I'm home with drugs in tow.

I'm still on hold taking them pending my blood work, but they sent me home with them thinking that I'll be restarting the Interferon by Friday.

They were prepared to stop if the infection wasn't any better or if I lost any more weight. If my blood work comes back not so good they still may stop....but for now it looks more like I'll continue through the end.

We've come this far and neither Hershey nor Jimmy and I think it's worth the risk to stop now.

If I wind up with another infection it'll be a different story....we'll end treatment because my body just won't with stand anymore.

There was a very big surprise in today's visit - Roche has unblinded the Trial. They've decided to start all over. The trial drug has shown to have too many problems....eye problems and low blood counts like Lymphocytes that don't seem to want to return even after tx has been stopped.

Unblinded means that today I found out that I was on one of the highest dosages in the trial - Group A:
RO4588161 - 1000 mg. twice daily
Pegasys (Interferon) - 180 micrograms once weekly
Copegus (Ribavirin) - 1000 mg. Daily

Jimmy and I had joked around when we first started this saying that with my luck we'll get the highest dosage. Well we did....

Right now our worry is to make it through these final 7 weeks, then the worry will be praying that my blood counts return once I'm off of the Ribavirin and Interferon. I'll be on the Procrit and Nuepogen for a while after tx ends trying to get my counts back up where they should be. With standard care they would normally come back on their own.....with the trial drug that we took there's a worry about how fast they'll come back...if they come back.

My final worry will be if I cleared the virus. I'm sure that I may have already, but it's a risk that I choose not to gamble with by stopping tx 7 weeks early.

So that's it. I wait for the call from Hershey saying that I'm restarting....

For now I think that God gave me a brief stay from tx so that I can enjoy Thanksgiving a little bit more.

:)

Day 286

The weekend wasn't bad. All 3 of my kids where here on Friday night. On Saturday, after some pushing and prodding they help me clean the house up a bit for the upcoming Holiday.

On Sunday my youngest went down stairs to work his Sunday maintenance job for the Roads and I took my daughter to the grocery store to get the fixin's for Thanksgivings Dinner and they carried it all in.

By Sunday afternoon I was still feeling pretty good but the weekend was catching up to me and my ear was starting to get to me a little....but my daughter invited her boyfriend over to meet me.

It's kind of hard with the kids. I try to keep going for them and I try to act as best as I can.....but after all these months of tx they tend to forget that I am sick. It's like that old fable "Mom's aren't supposed to get sick".

Jimmy gets upset and I do too sometimes, but they're not here all the time and they don't see.

What they do see is that I continue to work.....but they don't how much of a struggle it is for me to keep working.

What they do see is my cleaning out the cabinet and fridge to make room for the Thanksgiving groceries.....but they didn't see the fight for energy that it took all morning long while they slept in the morning.

Ask my oldest Son about it and he says he can only see my strengths......he doesn't see the battle. I know I try not to show it to them.

It's not like I try to hide it or I try to shelter them from it.....it's just that I only get a couple of times a month where they'll all come together and spend the weekend with me. They're all grown up now and sooner or later they'll marry or move away and my weekends with them hanging out with me will be over. Sure they'll still visit, but it won't be as often...they'll have families of their own.

Anyway, This morning I'm waking up feeling pretty good. I guess I should because I haven't taken Ribavirin since Thursday and I had to skip my Interferon on Friday. Fatigue still comes but not as hard. The ear infection is still there a little....but it got somewhat better. It's not nearly as sore, but it's not gone either. I was hoping it would be gone by this morning before I had to go to Hershey.

I'm always worried that they'll take me off tx. It's always a worry especially since so many people have been pulled from the trial for various reasons.

I have 49 days to go.....I'd rather fight them out then to be left wondering if tx ended too soon.

49 days....I've come this far....They can't pull me off for ear 2 ear infections....I hope.

I guess I'll find out in a few hours....

Have a Nice Monday everyone!

Day 283

I started my morning off yesterday going to my family doctor. I hate going to any Doctor, but I really like my family doctor. He's so supportive.

Turns out that both of my ears are infected. It's mostly my ear canals and I may have caught it before it went too far this time.

Doc says it's drug induced. He went through chemotherapy last year and told me that he had the same problem with dry and cracking skin that I'm having. He showed me his hands and how they still are dry and pealing at the creases. He said that almost a year later his skin is still recovering.

I asked him if there's anything that I can do and he said the same thing that Hershey says....use oils. There much else that you can do.

He prescribed Cortison Otic Sol. drops for my ears to use 4 times a day and told me that I could use a drop or 2 to rub on the outside of my ears to help heal up the dry cracking skin there also.

It was good news that maybe we caught this in time to not wind up with the horrible pain that I had the last time.

I go back to Hershey on Monday. Hopefully, with any luck, my ears will be cleared up by then.

One thing I do know is that now that it's the weekend, if this gets worst before Monday I'll be driving to Hershey's ER and not going to Hazleton General!

After the Doctors appt. I stopped at General Hospital to take the form to the records department so that they'd finally fax my ER record to Hershey.

I handed the form to the "lady" along with my drivers license and told her that the record had to be faxed by the end of the day because I have an appt. on Monday and they need it badly.

The "lady" said "Oh I don't think it will make it by Monday. The record has to be pulled and that usually takes a couple of days."

Yep I got mad.

I told her that in that case I wanted a copy of the record right now to take with me and that I wasn't going to leave without it. She said that if it took a couple of days to get the record to Hershey how did I think I could get it today, right now?

I told her that I wanted to talk to her Supervisor and she said that she was the only one there right now. So I told her that I don't care if I had to talk to the Hospital Administrator I'm not leaving without my record....so call the Administrator!

She said hold on a minute and she left the room. She didn't say why she was leaving the room....I guess I assumed that she was getting someone to back her up or something...lol

Less than 5 minutes later back she came with my record in her hand! I was so stunned that she was handing it to me that all I could do was stand there and stare at her! Words escaped me. "A couple of days to pull the record" my ass!

Incredible!

I went to work and faxed the record and a report from my doctors visit that morning alond with the scripts that he wrote to Hershey. I asked my trial nurse to ok the scripts before I got them filled..... Even though I trust my family Doctor, I'm not taking anything anymore unless it's ok'd by Hershey!

So that's it. Riba-rage won and I didn't go to jail! lol

I've got antibiotics for my ears before the weekend hits and maybe we've caught it in time this time.

My ribavirin and Interferon are on hold for the weekend, so no shot tonight. On Monday tx will probably start all over again.....but at least maybe I'll get the chance to heal over the weekend.

7 weeks to go. One thing that I know is that this is going to be hard right up until the end.

Have a Wonderful Friday everyone!

Day 282

What a crazy mess this is turning into.

Last month I had the ear infection in my left ear. It was painful as hell and I called Hershey on a Friday to ask what I should do. My doctor was out for the weekend and I was told by the attending doctor to go to my local ER have it checked....she didn't want me waiting the weekend out with the infection without having it looked at and treated.

So off we went to our ER. I hate the Hospital here (bunch of quacks) , but hey it was just an ear ache.

At the ER we told them about the Hep C and all the drugs I'm on. We also told them over and over again to get a copy of their report to Hershey.

They checked me out, did a CAT scan, gave me an IV antibiotic and sent me home with scripts for ear drops and an antibiotic called Augmentin 875 mg.

3 weeks later I have an ear infection in my right ear now. I called my research nurse at Hershey and she said that the Hospital here never sent a report. They asked what it is that the hospital put me on and I told her.

After she spoke to the Doctor she called back.

I should Never have been prescribed Augmentin! According to her, and now that I've looked it up on the net, Augmentin is the very worst antibiotic to give someone with Hepititus!

They don't want me going back to the hospital here. I have an appointment this morning with my family doctor. He needs to look into my ear to verify that it's an infection and I'm to tell him that if it is he needs to prescribe Keflex for it.

They also want me to stop the interferon and Ribavirin and I have to go to Hershey on Monday. They want to run blood work to check me out partly because of the infections and partly because of the Augmentin.

In the mean time I called the Hospital telling them that have got to fax the report from the ER visit to Hershey immediatly! The lady (using the phrase lady lightly) in the records department said she didn't get a HIPA release form from the ER to send it.

I told her I signed one and I asked them to make sure they sent it. She said "Well I didn't get it from the ER and I'll have to send one to you in the mail and you can mail it back".

I said no! I don't have time for that, Hershey needs it right now! Fax the form to me and I'll fax it back.

She say's I'll fax it to you but you can't fax it back.

Now I'm pissed!

Fax it and I'll bring it back to the hospital myself. So she say's "if you do that I'll have to have a photo id or drivers license from you!"

OMG! Fine! I have a License! I'll be there tomorrow!

This Hospital screws up and now I have to fight to get my records!

I'll go to my Doctor this morning and on the way back I'll stop at the hospital to drop off the form. If my records are not faxed to hershey by the end of the day I'll go back to the hospital tomorrow and I'll demand to see the Head Administrator or I'll cause a ruckuss big enough to make the news paper!

I don't think this Hospital has ever seen full fledged Riba-Rage before.

So that's my day....

My ear hurts, I'm sick to my stomach and the Hazleton General Hospital is full of a bunch of quacks!!!!!!!!!

Hope your day is better than mine!

Day 281

Woke up this morning and now my right ear is sore and I can hear the fluid in them both.

What the hell is it with ear infections?

At least I still have some of the antibiotic drops and pills from my left ear being infected. I started them this morning and I'll call Hershey later today.

I wish there was something that I could do to prevent this from hapening.

Last night I hit the wall at 7:00. I haven't done that in days. This morning waking up is ruff. I'm sure that if my ears are infected again...it's got a lot to do with it.

I was kind of hoping that these last 8 weeks would be uneventful. So much for that!

Day 280

Monday was ok. Parts of it went fast, parts of it dragged.

After work I had the treat of going to see my GYN. What fun. The witch of a receptionist didn't say a word about our argument on the phone. I didn't think she would. Got my exam and script and off I went.

Of course it can't be that simple. During the exam Doc found and lump in my armpit. I told her that I have lumps everywhere right now....my glands have been swollen for months. And then of course the nasty word Mammogram popped up and out came the script pad for the test.

Umph.....I know it's just more swollen glands. The one that she found comes and goes. I don't think a cyst or tumor does that.....well maybe a cyst does, but not a tumor.

It's the drugs. I know it.

Other than that I've been eating ibuprofen because I still can't shake the body aches from Fridays shot. They're not too bad. Nothing that the Ibuprofen doesn't handle.

There's also the inside of my ears driving me nuts again. I'm trying not to scratch them for fear of another infection....but man oh man it get hard not to.

It's Tuesday....Nuepogen day. Hopefully the body aches go away by tonight before the bone aches kick in from the Nuepogen. That would suck if they don't.

Nope I'm not in a doom and gloom mood even though this post sounds like it. I'm actually in a "manage my sides" mood. Right now there's no real emotion to it. Just a lot of thought on how to deal with my body and what's going on today.

Overall I don't think I feel too bad. I'll pop some Ibuprofen, ignore my ears and I'll force the day to get better.

Have a Terrific Tuesday!

Day 279

Yesterday felt like the flu all day. The weather outside pretty much matched it....cold with rain and snow flurries.

This morning the sun is coming out but still the flurries continue off and on. Again the weather is matching the way my body feels....A lot better than yesterday but still a little crappy.

Maybe the day will get better as it goes along.

I hope that this week flies by. Next week will only be a 3 day week so a lot of the work that I would do next week will have to be done this week....that's ok by me because I know the days will move faster. Week 8 should go by in a blink. I hope.

Have a Beautiful Day Everyone!

Day 278

Another shot down and another weekend gone.

Yesterday I spent the day back and forth to the couch. But on the bright side I did get some laundry washed, dishes done and I made a pot of homemade ham and bean soup.

Oh yeah, and I made it to the grocery store again. That's always a big deal for me. Fatigue makes it very slow going but I always feel like I accomplished something when I can get there.

Jimmy usually lectures me about the store saying "make a list and I'll go". He calls me stubborn. I guess there's just a part of me that still wants to be productive in my home.

I guess maybe in ways I am stubborn.

This morning is kind of ruff but still do-able. I'm hoping that I snap out of it as the morning goes on. It really does feel like I have the flu....but I know it's just the Peg. shot.

8 more weeks to go.

Have a Nice Sunday!

Day 276

Thursday was great. It was busy but I felt good!

One thing that I've noticed is that even when the brain fog isn't so thick in my head, my brain still has a hard time keeping up. I don't know if you would call it forgetfulness... it's more like my brain skips a beat during thoughts. It pauses and gets stuck at times, as I struggle to regain my thoughts and sort out the scrambled mess....I find that I have to recheck everything that I've done. Is that forgetfulness? Who knows...

What I do know is that after being on all of these for all of this time, I'm hoping that everything goes back to normal when this is all over and the drugs are out of my system.

I believe that it will. Terry, Teah and Iris are all a testament to that.

Anyway yesterday was great to me and even though today is Peg. Friday, I know this day will be good also! At least up until tonight.

Ducky is back!

Day 275

60 days to go.......I wonder.....at how many days to go will I stop having that "yeah but" feeling.

You know what feeling that I mean? The words "60 days to go" comes out of my mouth but my mind still says "yeah but you still have 60 days to go". Will that change at 30? I can't imagine it being the same at 15.

I guess I'll find out......

Yesterday was a pretty good day up until I got home and found out that someone that I used to consider an old friend was arrested for child rape and molestation!

I'm floored! I still can not fully comprehend that he did this and has been doing for 7 years to his own step daughter.

I also can't believe that this is the same friend that I held a benefit for to raise money for when his families home was wiped out in a flood a few years ago.

You never know where the monsters hide.

I truly, full heartedly believe that if a man rapes a child, he should be castrated. I don't mean castrated by taking drugs....I mean castrated in the same way that a dog is castrated. He is nothing more than an animal and should be treated as such.

The sick bastard!

It is my hope that he spends the rest of his life paying for what he's done to this little girl.....because she has no choice but to live with the memory of it for the rest of her life.

I pray that the Judge who sentences him is a Real Man and not corrupted like other Judges have been in the past. I pray that this Judge will see a child rapist and that he will sentence as such!

Crimes against children deserve the severest penalties.

So yesterday started out well but ended in horror.

I am shocked.....

Day 274

Well the brain fog only lasted part of the day yesterday. By late morning it started letting up. The rest of the day moved on pretty fast, the afternoon was busy.

I came home from work to find Jimmy cooking dinner. :) Have I mentioned that my Husband is beautiful?

I stayed up until 9 and then off to bed I went like a little old lady.

This morning is the same ole brain fogged waking up but not as bad as yesterday so I'm sure it will pass very soon.

I have a friend who is on standard tx. She's right around 30 weeks. She started crashing about a week ago.....nausea and fatigue.

When she started tx she went on a general forum site and found a group for Hep C. Someone there told her to stay away from fatty foods while she's on tx!

The one thing that I've learned from "experienced" tx'ers is that while taking Ribavirin you have got to take it with fatty foods. The drug breaks down faster with fat content and moves out of your stomach faster without as much nausea.

Also from what I understand, the high fat causes better absorption of the Ribavirin into your system.

The poor girl has spent her time taking the Ribavirin with stuff like orange juice. She's had nausea all the way through her tx.

If your new to tx, Please be careful about the advise that you find from others on the net. People always mean well (I hope) but sometimes they themselves are misinformed at times. Listen to what they have to say, but then move on and research their advise before acting on it. Even anything that you see here on my blog should be researched before trying....I am just a person going through tx and learning along the way.

Anyway, my heart goes out to her, she's having a ruff time of it right now. Hopefully it passes soon.

As for me, today is going to be good! My Duck is knocking.....

Have a Ducky Day Everyone....

Day 273

Yesterday was a washout. I woke up with a headache that just held onto me for most of the day. Damned little drummer boy was beating on my brain so hard it made me sick to my stomach.

I woke up this morning with that washed out brain fog feeling. But hey, at least the headache is gone.

I'll splash some ice cold water on my face and see if I can't snap out of it for work. Today's going to be a busy day.

Hopefully it rolls by fast!

Have a Great Tuesday everyone!

Day 271

Yesterday wasn't too bad to me.

I had a couple of friends stop by to hang out for a while during the afternoon. Now a days thats pretty rare. I don't really go anywhere so I don't really see anyone outside of work. I suppose it's easy to be forgotten when it seem like you've dropped of the face of the earth.

It was nice to sit and chat with with them for a while. It felt like a little taste of normal. I'm so glad that they stopped by.....

I hung out on the couch for most of the day trying to save up the energy to make it to a good friends wedding reception last night. Saturdays are the hardest and I knew that if I was going to make it at all I'd have to save up what I could.

It worked because we made it there. She looked beautiful and I'm so happy that we got to see her and a few other friends that I've missed over the past year.

2 hours into it and about an hour after my bed time I was ready to go home. That's ok because I was just sitting around anyway.High heels and tx do not make good partners! lol

On the way home my vision once again decided to go bye bye. I don't know why this is happening so much right now. It was dorment for a few weeks there and now it's seems to be back with vengence.

A few minutes after Jimmy got me home it past. Ibuprofen kill the headache that it left behind and I was off to bed about an hour later.

Small price to pay to be able to see Gale on her wedding day.

Other than that, this weekend isn't too terrible.

Maybe Ducky will hangout with me for a while this week.......

Day 269

Well it's Friday again.

After tonight's shot I will officially be in the single digit weeks....9 weeks to go.

For the last couple of days I've been trying very hard to look past the tx. Trying to focus more on what I want to do when this is all over. I know I'll still have 9 weeks to go, but my mind needs something positive to hold onto.

Last Christmas I got a set of golf clubs from Jimmy and a year later I have yet to use them. So this spring I'm thinking of taking a golfing lesson to better my chances while playing Jimmy. lol....translated that means to better my chances at hitting the damn ball!

Also, we'll start planning our finishing tx celebration vacation. I want to go somewhere that has a lot of energy. A place with rides and lots of stuff to amuse my brain. We juggle the ideas of Las Vegas and Walt Disney World. In the end, since Jimmy's been to Las Vegas many many times and I been twice, we've decided on Walt Disney World.

I want to let loose and have some little girl fun....I want to forget that any of these 48 weeks even happened.

There is life after this horrible mess and while I can not see that yet....I can plan for it to come.

The Zoloft is making me clench my teeth again. I don't like this drug but I'll give it a few more days to see if it mellows out and starts to help. If it doesn't, I'll stop it again and I'll just have to deal with it.

It's just a matter of pretending to be ok and sooner or later I will be.

It's Friday....shot 38 day.

This weekend will be nice to me.....because I say so!

Enjoy!

Day 268

Yesterday was a semi busy day at work. That always help to pass the day.

I lost my vision again in the morning. But at least it didn't take as long as the day before to get it back....maybe 15 minutes and then I was fine again. It just left me with that slight tension headache that Ibuprofen seems to handle just fine.

That little drummer boy ain't going to get me!

There's just too many drugs rolling around in my body and my brain.

Just another day on tx......

Another nail in my dragons coffin.

Day 267

Congratulations Obama!

Now it's time to see how real his campaign promises are........


I went to vote early yesterday morning expecting a long line but found only 2 people ahead of me, so voting took only a few minutes.

Because I was so early I decided to take a nice slow drive to work. Almost most of the way there I began to realize that I was loosing my vision again. When it starts I get a few minutes before I loose it to the point of not being able to see and I knew I was close enough to make it to work and I did. I sat in the parking lot waiting for my vision to return. Once I thought it was passing and I had most of my vision back I went in. Maybe I should have stayed sitting in the car because it took almost another 15 minutes for the rest of peripheral vision to come back.

Once it was over I was fine again. I had a slight headache at the base of my scull....but nothing that Ibuprofen didn't handle.

Outside of a whole lot of brain fog and some fatigue, the rest of the day was uneventful.

This morning waking up my brain seems very foggy. I guess I could figure some of that brain fog is coming from the Zoloft that I restarted last night. I'm hoping that I can stand taking it this time. It's seems like the tx is really starting to play games on my thoughts. My self esteem has never been so low.....I try remind myself that my body has never been under this type of attack before and it's just the drugs playing games. 38 weeks are taking it's toll.

With all of the holidays coming up maybe I'll find a new distraction, and maybe the time will go faster.

Have a Nice Day everyone.

Day 266

I got up yesterday morning and fought to clear my mind through all of the brain fog trying to get ready for the hearing. I have to admit that I was really concerned about being able to think straight.

I went down to the local UC office for the scheduled time and sat there waiting. The Claimant wasn't there yet and I found myself chuckling at the thought of him showing up late for the hearing.

Finally we where called and he didn't show!

It turned out to be the easiest hearing that I've ever had to deal with in the 20 years of my having to go to appeal hearings! lol

Well finally today is Election Day!!!! After today we'll not only have a new President of the United States and hopefully a new Congressman named Lou Barletta....but we'll also have some peace again! No more phones ringing off the hooks. No more campaign signs and listening to the candidates slamming each other.

Just peace and quiet as we sit and watch how many campaign promises become truths and how many are forgotten.....

I'm going to go try to vote this morning before work, but if it's real busy I'll wait until after work when I have more time to stand around there.

By the time our new President and Congressman is elected I'll be snoring up a storm. I'll have to ask Jimmy to wake me with the results. Knowing him, he'll be up all night watching it unfold. My poor sweetheart never sleeps and with something like this going on I know he definitely won't sleep tonight.

This morning I'm finally coming out of the funk....I think.

My brain is a lot clearer than it has been and I don't feel too bad this morning.

There is one difference in this Tuesday morning...I forgot to do my Nuepogen shot again last night. That's ok though, I was thinking about changing it to Tuesday nights anyway. Maybe if I have Sat., Sun. and Mon. to recuperate from the Peg. shot, the Nuepogen bone aches won't be so hard to ignore.

Besides, having 4 days in a row with shots seems to be more worth it when I'll have 3 days in row without any.

For now I feel pretty good! I can almost see Ducky again!

Day 265

Well thankfully the brain fog lifted just enough yesterday for me to prepair for the hearing this morning...I think....maybe...

With any luck I'll be able to think clear enough at the hearing.

All in all the weekend wasn't too tuff. I spent some most of the afternoons on the couch but it wasn't as bad as some weekends.

I can't wait till this is all over and I can have my life back again. What do I have? 70 days to go. Next week it'll be 9 weeks...single digits! yeehaw.

Day 264

I woke up yesterday morning and took my daughter to the eye doctor for her routine exam. Afterward I made her help me at the grocery store and carry the groceries into the house.

I got the groceries put away and even got some light housecleaning done. By afternoon fatigue kicked in and I went couch bound.

All in all this weekend has been nice to me. I have that drug hangover going on this morning but at least I'm able to function.

With any luck my brain fog will go away by this afternoon because I have to sit down and prepair for a UC appeal hearing for tomorrow morning. I tried all week last week to lay out my questioning but the brain fog was too thick and I just couldn't think through it. By this evening I'll have no choice...the hearing is at 9:30 tomorrow morning. Hopefully my brain fog doesn't cost us the ruling.

At least this weekend is so much better than last weekend. My ear infection is cleared up and by tomorrow I should be able to drop the antibiotics. Dropping drugs at this point is always a big plus!

The Hot 6 Oil continues to be the best thing that I've found for my dry and chapping skin. It's cleared most of it up around my ears and my scalp is feeling so much better because of it. It is something that I've learned I'll have to use everyday to maintain control over it. If I skip a day the dryness starts to come back immediately.

Well it's 2 days until election day and our phone doesn't stop ringing. Most of the calls have come from the McCain campaign, probably because Jimmy and I are Republicans. I would have to give the McCain campaign an "F' for effort considering that when one of the phone calls was an actual human she asked me who I was going to vote for....when I said I was voting for Obama she said "oh....ok" and hung up! She didn't ask me why, she didn't try to talk McCain up, she didn't try at all to change my vote....lol....she just said "Oh, ok" and hung up!

LOL, I can't help but wonder why they are bothering to call?

I figure it this way, the next time a I get a McCain phone call, that is an actual Human, I plan to only say "Oh...ok" and I'll hang up.

7 Phone calls in one afternoon (5 from McCains Campaign, 1 from Obamas, and 1 for a poll) is way too many calls in one Saturday during tx much less a day when you feel healthy!

Today is Sunday. Historically this has been a day of peace, rest and worship. When I said to Jimmy that at least tomorrow is Sunday he said "Sunday! Oh they'll still call". I believe he's probably right. What's worse is that they aren't calling to try to sway my vote and convince me...they seem to be calling just to be a pain in my ass! Maybe today I'll bust them back....that is if I get a Human instead of a recorded message.

Election day is 2 days away. By the time this is over we'll all need Prozac!

Have a Nice Sunday Everyone!

Day 262

Well after 2-1/2 hours at the eye doctor they can tell that I'm on lot's of drugs but they don't see anything big time wrong with my eye's.

The drugs have changed the diameter of my contacts. Doc say's that normal for being on so many drugs. There's also 2 tiny spots in one eye and 1 tiny spot in the other. He said that this also is from the drugs and will probably go away once I'm off. Neither of these things is causing my periods of blindness. His diagnoses is that I'm having a Basilar migrane from the drugs. It's a type of ophthalmic migraine who aura fills both visual fields and may be accompanied by dysarthia and disturbances of equilibrium.Which he say's will also go away once I'm off of them. He also said that it could be a type of slight seizure which wouldn't be very abnormal with taking so many different chemicals. But he's leaning more toward the Basilar Migrane.

That Diagnosis is being sent to Hershey. I wonder what they'll do with it.....

I only have 73 days to go. They may not do anything since I only have it every so often. My fingers are crossed.

Good news is that there's nothing wrong with my eye's that finishing tx won't help. Even if the spots remain after I finish the drugs, the Doctor doesn't think they'll ever cause me any problem.

It's Friday. Waking up is a little tuff but I think my head is clearing. Brain fog has been kind of tuff this week....probably because of all of the extra drugs that where added for the infection. LOL it's pretty bad when you have to use the front and back of a paper to list all your medications for a Doctors appt. It took the nurse 15 minutes just to type them all into the computer.

Past all of that I think I'm ok this morning. That's a real good thing because I'm hoping for a nice weekend.

Hope your weekend is nice too!

Day 261

Well I bit the bullet and cut my hair off. I left about an inch so that it doesn't stick straight up. Sure, now I look like a boy! lol But I don't care as long as I can get my scalp to heal better. And besides, when it does start to grow back after tx it'll have a better start at being more even.

It better grow back!

For now it doesn't matter anyway....I'm covering it with a scarf.

The Hot 6 oil is working great right now on my neck and outside of my ears. I'm pretty sure that I can get my scalp to heal now that there's not as much hair in the way.

I guess I'll know in a few days....

Have a Great Day!

Day 260

Talk about weird weather....we got around whole bunch of snow yesterday and about 2 miles outside of Hazleton they got next to nothing.

Biggest problem is that with the trees still having leaves the heavy snow and crazy wind sent power outages all over the place. What a mess!

On the brighter side, my ear is finally starting to let up. I have never had an ear infection this bad before. I'm so glad that it's finally going away. It's gone from horrible pain to throbbing all the time, to now throbbing when I bend over or lean forward etc.....and Ibuprofen seems to be helping that.

I'm hoping that it's gone by the weekend.

Have a Great Day Everyone!

Day 259

It was another night of wake up, take something for pain, wait a half hour and go back to sleep. I can't imagine what this would have been like if I hadn't had the I.V. antibiotics. (Thank God for my darling Jimmy who has to deal with such a stubborn wife.)

Still, I guess it'll take a few days to clear it up.

Yesterday I bit the bullet and wore a scarf, it helped a lot with the ear pain by keeping my ear warm and the air out of it.

Tonight I'll bite another bullet and get my hair cut very short. I have to try to get my scalp and ears healed up so that I don't wind up with another infection from them. Besides what hair I do have looks like hell because I just don't have enough of it to cover the bald spots anymore.

Screw it....I'm going to cover it with a scarf anyway.

You know I've always said "Nothing good comes easy".....

This ain't easy....but in the long run I know it will be good!

Day 258

This was a ruff weekend!

By Saturday afternoon my little drummer boy had traded his ice pick in for a hatchet and was wackin' away at the inside of my ear! Or at least that's what it felt like. It got down to that "I'll do anything if it'll stop hurting" point and Jimmy talked me into calling Hershey. The Doctor on call for Dr. Smith told me to go to the emergency room saying that with a low white cell count my body isn't fighting the infection even with Keflex.

So off we went. After CAT scan later to make sure the infection hadn't gone to my skull bone they hooked me up to an I.V. antibiotic and then sent me home with horse pill sized antibiotics, Ear drop antibiotics and Vicoden for the pain.

Saturday night there was no sleeping. Not even the Vicoden stopped the pain.

By around 6 am on Sunday morning it was down to a throb and I finally fell to sleep.

Last night wasn't as bad. I'd sleep a few hours, wake up, take something for the pain and go back to bed. At 6 I finally just said to myself that I may as well just get up.

Now I just feel like shit but at least the pain is still just a throb.

I'm going to try to go to work. If Ibuprofen doesn't keep it tolerable I'll just come home.

The one good thing that came from this weekend is that Jimmy went searching for this stuff called Hot 6 Oil made by a company called African Royal. It's a hair and body oil that Rosie said works for her on her dry skin and scalp. Finally after many months of buying and trying products, I think this one is actually doing some good. I guess I'll know better in a few days.

Thanks Rosie!

I wish I could use it inside my ears! lol

Here's to hoping Monday get a little nicer to me.....

Day 256

I wound up taking my Nuepogen shot (that I forgot about on Thursday night), the peg. shot, Ribavirin, a sleeping pill, 2 ibuprofen and 500mg of Keflex (for the ear infection) and then I went to bed last night.

It seems that the little drummer boy has found an ice pick and is now having a grand ole time inside my ear.

On top of everything else?.....yep that's just what I needed.

I slept pretty good considering. I woke up about 3 times and swallowed another Ibuprofen each time. But in between, when the ibuprofen was kicked in, I slept.

Thank God because I probably would have puked after taking so many drugs.

I woke up this morning with my ear screaming out pain....so I just got up. 2 ibuprofen and an hour later the pain is starting to let up somewhat.

The little drummer boy is a bastard!

Now that the pain is letting up and I can take inventory of how the rest of me feels....I've felt worse Saturday mornings.

One things for sure, this will be a couch weekend.

Day 255

80 Days to go.....

I've got an ear ache, I didn't sleep worth a shit last night, fatigue sucks, my skin itches and stings.....and between all of that and Ribavirin topping it off, I am back to wanting to sit on the floor and cry.

Not a good way to start Friday off.

damn it

Day 254

Yesterday was a killer. It was a long brain fogged day that took forever to pass.

I came home from work last night and was in bed by 7:30, took a sleeping pill and slept. I woke up this morning feeling a whole lot better.

I finally broke down and ordered 2 scarves and a snood to cover my head. I think I've gotten to the point that I just don't have any choice anymore. My hair continues to fall out, now even the side of my head has more scalp showing than hair, and my scalp is so dry that it gets cracked and painful. With the cold weather coming on I'm afraid it'll dry out even more if I don't cover it. (not to mention my head is starting to get kind of cold)

My Study Nurse tried to call around to see if she could find something that might help, but the only thing that she was told was to have me try to use baby shampoo. Other than that there really isn't too much that I can do about it.

Now I'm down to trying to only wash my hair once a week. I've been using a first aid cream where ever I can in hopes that some of it will heal.

Even the insides of ears are dry, itchy and sore. God only knows what you do about that! lol

So thats it! I'm taking the plunge into scarfing it! My plan is to just put it on in the morning and not look at another mirror for the rest of the day.

Hopefully I wind up looking more hip than I do sick! If anyone stares maybe I'll just get a shirt printed up that says "Caution I Get Riba-Rage!". lol

Anyway, I'm determined to have a good day!

I Hope you do too!