Day 269

Well it's Friday again.

After tonight's shot I will officially be in the single digit weeks....9 weeks to go.

For the last couple of days I've been trying very hard to look past the tx. Trying to focus more on what I want to do when this is all over. I know I'll still have 9 weeks to go, but my mind needs something positive to hold onto.

Last Christmas I got a set of golf clubs from Jimmy and a year later I have yet to use them. So this spring I'm thinking of taking a golfing lesson to better my chances while playing Jimmy. lol....translated that means to better my chances at hitting the damn ball!

Also, we'll start planning our finishing tx celebration vacation. I want to go somewhere that has a lot of energy. A place with rides and lots of stuff to amuse my brain. We juggle the ideas of Las Vegas and Walt Disney World. In the end, since Jimmy's been to Las Vegas many many times and I been twice, we've decided on Walt Disney World.

I want to let loose and have some little girl fun....I want to forget that any of these 48 weeks even happened.

There is life after this horrible mess and while I can not see that yet....I can plan for it to come.

The Zoloft is making me clench my teeth again. I don't like this drug but I'll give it a few more days to see if it mellows out and starts to help. If it doesn't, I'll stop it again and I'll just have to deal with it.

It's just a matter of pretending to be ok and sooner or later I will be.

It's Friday....shot 38 day.

This weekend will be nice to me.....because I say so!

Enjoy!