Friday, November 28, 2008

Day 290

Wow I got energy yesterday. Too much energy actually.

I woke up yesterday morning a 2:30 a.m. and that was it...I couldn't sleep. Not even a sleeping pill would helped. I wound up getting out of bed and began cleaning our art studio. At 7 I started our Thanksgiving dinner and cooked all day. By 7:30 I still couldn't relax so I went back to cleaning the studio for about an hour. Finally, after all of that, I made myself tired and went to bed.

I slept all night and didn't have to take a sleeping pill.

Whats up with that? Is my body reacting to not having Ribavirin or Interferon poured into it?

I don't know but I like the energy....at the same token I would kind of like it dialed down a notch.

LOL...Just can't be happy can I?

Anyway I slept all night and now here I am feel pretty dog gone ducky.

I started the Ribavirin back up last night but I don't think my body has figured that out yet. I'm hoping that I get a few days before it starts hitting.

I'm still on hold for the Interferon until around Monday when I find out whether I end tx completely or I continue on.


For now I think I'll just enjoy the day with my good ole friend Ducky!


Thursday, November 27, 2008

Day 289

So I got a call from Hershey last night on my way home from work.

It wasn't what I expected....I'm still holding off on my interferon. My Lymphocytes have dropped below 500 and they're running the CD4/CD to see if my T cells are below 200. That takes about a week to run the test so I won't have the results until at least Monday.

Because my friend Dorene has just gotten the news that they've pulled her from tx due to low Lymphocytes I figured I'd try to give it a stab to see if I can try to explain what this is all about....although I may not have a total picture and I can only explain it in layman terms(I am NOT a Doctor).....

Lymphocytes are made up of 2 different types - T-cells and B-cells.

Both cells work to recognize foreign invaders like bacteria or a virus. Once the infection is recognized, B cells work to neutralize the infection and T cells produce toxic granules to induce the death of the bacterial or viral cells.

I'm sure there's a whole lot more to it than my sorry little paragraph explains....but that's the gist of it.....as I know it.

When our blood has been tested over these past few months since tx began, they've been watching our Lymphocytes because the trial drug caused many of us to have low counts.(Some of us where pulled from the trial at 12 weeks and some of those are still waiting for their counts to go back to normal.) The test that they usually run is an absolute count. If the absolute count falls below 500 they run a CD4/CD count. This test specifically measures the percentage of CD4 T cells in the blood. If the CD4 T cell is below 200 life becomes a little more dangerous. The bodies ability to recognized and kill off invading bacteria and virus' becomes compromised (much like an AIDS patient).

When the count is less than 200, interferon has got to be stopped because interferon itself can suppress the bone marrow from producing Lymphocytes.

......That's how I understand it. I may be wrong, so let me know if I am.

Anyway, this is not the first time that my Lymphocytes have come back below 500. But when they did the further testing I was above 200 so tx continued.

I realize that this time may be different since I have had 2 ear infections back to back in a very short period of time.

If they decide to pull me from tx....so be it.

I'm hoping that I've already slayed my bastard of a Dragon since I was undetectable at week 2. I didn't want to gamble by stopping tx 7 weeks early....but I think the gamble of playing with totally screwing up my immune system versus the now low risk of not clearing the virus......it's just not worth it.

Hopefully Monday will come and they'll tell me that my count is still above 200.

No matter how I look at it I am blessed. I'm happy and surrounded by a beautiful loving family and an incredibly wonderful Husband.

I am thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving Day Everyone!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Day 288

Thanksgiving eve and it's already been a week since I've taken Ribavirin and week and a half since I took the Interferon. It's definitely given me a nice little break from feeling like I've got the flu.

At the same time I can tell that it's going to take a while for these drugs to filter out of my system. The fatigue still hangs out in the background telling me that this is not over with yet....don't push it too hard.

That's ok, because it's not flooring me. Outside of the bone aches from the Nuepogen last night I feel pretty good! After I grab the Ibuprofen to help get rid of that I should feel even better.

With the Holiday I'm thinking that I won't hear from Hershey to restart until Friday.

Tonight I'll bake the pies, pumpkin roll and make the stuffing. My daughter is coming over to spend the night to help me cook tonight and tomorrow.
This will be the first time in my life that the holidays will not make me long for my own family (Mom, Dad, Brothers and Sisters)....this virus and treatment has finally, after all of these years, made me realize that they are and always have been gone. I think that I can be ok with that.

It's Thanksgiving and I have sooooo much to be thankful for.....Life is beautiful.


Have a Beautiful Thanksgiving Everyone!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Back From Hershey

Well I'm home with drugs in tow.

I'm still on hold taking them pending my blood work, but they sent me home with them thinking that I'll be restarting the Interferon by Friday.

They were prepared to stop if the infection wasn't any better or if I lost any more weight. If my blood work comes back not so good they still may stop....but for now it looks more like I'll continue through the end.

We've come this far and neither Hershey nor Jimmy and I think it's worth the risk to stop now.

If I wind up with another infection it'll be a different story....we'll end treatment because my body just won't with stand anymore.

There was a very big surprise in today's visit - Roche has unblinded the Trial. They've decided to start all over. The trial drug has shown to have too many problems....eye problems and low blood counts like Lymphocytes that don't seem to want to return even after tx has been stopped.

Unblinded means that today I found out that I was on one of the highest dosages in the trial - Group A:
RO4588161 - 1000 mg. twice daily
Pegasys (Interferon) - 180 micrograms once weekly
Copegus (Ribavirin) - 1000 mg. Daily

Jimmy and I had joked around when we first started this saying that with my luck we'll get the highest dosage. Well we did....

Right now our worry is to make it through these final 7 weeks, then the worry will be praying that my blood counts return once I'm off of the Ribavirin and Interferon. I'll be on the Procrit and Nuepogen for a while after tx ends trying to get my counts back up where they should be. With standard care they would normally come back on their own.....with the trial drug that we took there's a worry about how fast they'll come back...if they come back.

My final worry will be if I cleared the virus. I'm sure that I may have already, but it's a risk that I choose not to gamble with by stopping tx 7 weeks early.

So that's it. I wait for the call from Hershey saying that I'm restarting....

For now I think that God gave me a brief stay from tx so that I can enjoy Thanksgiving a little bit more.

:)

Day 286

The weekend wasn't bad. All 3 of my kids where here on Friday night. On Saturday, after some pushing and prodding they help me clean the house up a bit for the upcoming Holiday.

On Sunday my youngest went down stairs to work his Sunday maintenance job for the Roads and I took my daughter to the grocery store to get the fixin's for Thanksgivings Dinner and they carried it all in.

By Sunday afternoon I was still feeling pretty good but the weekend was catching up to me and my ear was starting to get to me a little....but my daughter invited her boyfriend over to meet me.

It's kind of hard with the kids. I try to keep going for them and I try to act as best as I can.....but after all these months of tx they tend to forget that I am sick. It's like that old fable "Mom's aren't supposed to get sick".

Jimmy gets upset and I do too sometimes, but they're not here all the time and they don't see.

What they do see is that I continue to work.....but they don't how much of a struggle it is for me to keep working.

What they do see is my cleaning out the cabinet and fridge to make room for the Thanksgiving groceries.....but they didn't see the fight for energy that it took all morning long while they slept in the morning.

Ask my oldest Son about it and he says he can only see my strengths......he doesn't see the battle. I know I try not to show it to them.

It's not like I try to hide it or I try to shelter them from it.....it's just that I only get a couple of times a month where they'll all come together and spend the weekend with me. They're all grown up now and sooner or later they'll marry or move away and my weekends with them hanging out with me will be over. Sure they'll still visit, but it won't be as often...they'll have families of their own.

Anyway, This morning I'm waking up feeling pretty good. I guess I should because I haven't taken Ribavirin since Thursday and I had to skip my Interferon on Friday. Fatigue still comes but not as hard. The ear infection is still there a little....but it got somewhat better. It's not nearly as sore, but it's not gone either. I was hoping it would be gone by this morning before I had to go to Hershey.

I'm always worried that they'll take me off tx. It's always a worry especially since so many people have been pulled from the trial for various reasons.

I have 49 days to go.....I'd rather fight them out then to be left wondering if tx ended too soon.

49 days....I've come this far....They can't pull me off for ear 2 ear infections....I hope.

I guess I'll find out in a few hours....

Have a Nice Monday everyone!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Day 283

I started my morning off yesterday going to my family doctor. I hate going to any Doctor, but I really like my family doctor. He's so supportive.

Turns out that both of my ears are infected. It's mostly my ear canals and I may have caught it before it went too far this time.

Doc says it's drug induced. He went through chemotherapy last year and told me that he had the same problem with dry and cracking skin that I'm having. He showed me his hands and how they still are dry and pealing at the creases. He said that almost a year later his skin is still recovering.

I asked him if there's anything that I can do and he said the same thing that Hershey says....use oils. There much else that you can do.

He prescribed Cortison Otic Sol. drops for my ears to use 4 times a day and told me that I could use a drop or 2 to rub on the outside of my ears to help heal up the dry cracking skin there also.

It was good news that maybe we caught this in time to not wind up with the horrible pain that I had the last time.

I go back to Hershey on Monday. Hopefully, with any luck, my ears will be cleared up by then.

One thing I do know is that now that it's the weekend, if this gets worst before Monday I'll be driving to Hershey's ER and not going to Hazleton General!

After the Doctors appt. I stopped at General Hospital to take the form to the records department so that they'd finally fax my ER record to Hershey.

I handed the form to the "lady" along with my drivers license and told her that the record had to be faxed by the end of the day because I have an appt. on Monday and they need it badly.

The "lady" said "Oh I don't think it will make it by Monday. The record has to be pulled and that usually takes a couple of days."

Yep I got mad.

I told her that in that case I wanted a copy of the record right now to take with me and that I wasn't going to leave without it. She said that if it took a couple of days to get the record to Hershey how did I think I could get it today, right now?

I told her that I wanted to talk to her Supervisor and she said that she was the only one there right now. So I told her that I don't care if I had to talk to the Hospital Administrator I'm not leaving without my record....so call the Administrator!

She said hold on a minute and she left the room. She didn't say why she was leaving the room....I guess I assumed that she was getting someone to back her up or something...lol

Less than 5 minutes later back she came with my record in her hand! I was so stunned that she was handing it to me that all I could do was stand there and stare at her! Words escaped me. "A couple of days to pull the record" my ass!

Incredible!

I went to work and faxed the record and a report from my doctors visit that morning alond with the scripts that he wrote to Hershey. I asked my trial nurse to ok the scripts before I got them filled..... Even though I trust my family Doctor, I'm not taking anything anymore unless it's ok'd by Hershey!

So that's it. Riba-rage won and I didn't go to jail! lol

I've got antibiotics for my ears before the weekend hits and maybe we've caught it in time this time.

My ribavirin and Interferon are on hold for the weekend, so no shot tonight. On Monday tx will probably start all over again.....but at least maybe I'll get the chance to heal over the weekend.

7 weeks to go. One thing that I know is that this is going to be hard right up until the end.

Have a Wonderful Friday everyone!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Day 282

What a crazy mess this is turning into.

Last month I had the ear infection in my left ear. It was painful as hell and I called Hershey on a Friday to ask what I should do. My doctor was out for the weekend and I was told by the attending doctor to go to my local ER have it checked....she didn't want me waiting the weekend out with the infection without having it looked at and treated.

So off we went to our ER. I hate the Hospital here (bunch of quacks) , but hey it was just an ear ache.

At the ER we told them about the Hep C and all the drugs I'm on. We also told them over and over again to get a copy of their report to Hershey.

They checked me out, did a CAT scan, gave me an IV antibiotic and sent me home with scripts for ear drops and an antibiotic called Augmentin 875 mg.

3 weeks later I have an ear infection in my right ear now. I called my research nurse at Hershey and she said that the Hospital here never sent a report. They asked what it is that the hospital put me on and I told her.

After she spoke to the Doctor she called back.

I should Never have been prescribed Augmentin! According to her, and now that I've looked it up on the net, Augmentin is the very worst antibiotic to give someone with Hepititus!

They don't want me going back to the hospital here. I have an appointment this morning with my family doctor. He needs to look into my ear to verify that it's an infection and I'm to tell him that if it is he needs to prescribe Keflex for it.

They also want me to stop the interferon and Ribavirin and I have to go to Hershey on Monday. They want to run blood work to check me out partly because of the infections and partly because of the Augmentin.

In the mean time I called the Hospital telling them that have got to fax the report from the ER visit to Hershey immediatly! The lady (using the phrase lady lightly) in the records department said she didn't get a HIPA release form from the ER to send it.

I told her I signed one and I asked them to make sure they sent it. She said "Well I didn't get it from the ER and I'll have to send one to you in the mail and you can mail it back".

I said no! I don't have time for that, Hershey needs it right now! Fax the form to me and I'll fax it back.

She say's I'll fax it to you but you can't fax it back.

Now I'm pissed!

Fax it and I'll bring it back to the hospital myself. So she say's "if you do that I'll have to have a photo id or drivers license from you!"

OMG! Fine! I have a License! I'll be there tomorrow!

This Hospital screws up and now I have to fight to get my records!

I'll go to my Doctor this morning and on the way back I'll stop at the hospital to drop off the form. If my records are not faxed to hershey by the end of the day I'll go back to the hospital tomorrow and I'll demand to see the Head Administrator or I'll cause a ruckuss big enough to make the news paper!

I don't think this Hospital has ever seen full fledged Riba-Rage before.

So that's my day....

My ear hurts, I'm sick to my stomach and the Hazleton General Hospital is full of a bunch of quacks!!!!!!!!!

Hope your day is better than mine!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Day 281

Woke up this morning and now my right ear is sore and I can hear the fluid in them both.

What the hell is it with ear infections?

At least I still have some of the antibiotic drops and pills from my left ear being infected. I started them this morning and I'll call Hershey later today.

I wish there was something that I could do to prevent this from hapening.

Last night I hit the wall at 7:00. I haven't done that in days. This morning waking up is ruff. I'm sure that if my ears are infected again...it's got a lot to do with it.

I was kind of hoping that these last 8 weeks would be uneventful. So much for that!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Day 280

Monday was ok. Parts of it went fast, parts of it dragged.

After work I had the treat of going to see my GYN. What fun. The witch of a receptionist didn't say a word about our argument on the phone. I didn't think she would. Got my exam and script and off I went.

Of course it can't be that simple. During the exam Doc found and lump in my armpit. I told her that I have lumps everywhere right now....my glands have been swollen for months. And then of course the nasty word Mammogram popped up and out came the script pad for the test.

Umph.....I know it's just more swollen glands. The one that she found comes and goes. I don't think a cyst or tumor does that.....well maybe a cyst does, but not a tumor.

It's the drugs. I know it.

Other than that I've been eating ibuprofen because I still can't shake the body aches from Fridays shot. They're not too bad. Nothing that the Ibuprofen doesn't handle.

There's also the inside of my ears driving me nuts again. I'm trying not to scratch them for fear of another infection....but man oh man it get hard not to.

It's Tuesday....Nuepogen day. Hopefully the body aches go away by tonight before the bone aches kick in from the Nuepogen. That would suck if they don't.

Nope I'm not in a doom and gloom mood even though this post sounds like it. I'm actually in a "manage my sides" mood. Right now there's no real emotion to it. Just a lot of thought on how to deal with my body and what's going on today.

Overall I don't think I feel too bad. I'll pop some Ibuprofen, ignore my ears and I'll force the day to get better.

Have a Terrific Tuesday!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Day 279

Yesterday felt like the flu all day. The weather outside pretty much matched it....cold with rain and snow flurries.

This morning the sun is coming out but still the flurries continue off and on. Again the weather is matching the way my body feels....A lot better than yesterday but still a little crappy.

Maybe the day will get better as it goes along.

I hope that this week flies by. Next week will only be a 3 day week so a lot of the work that I would do next week will have to be done this week....that's ok by me because I know the days will move faster. Week 8 should go by in a blink. I hope.

Have a Beautiful Day Everyone!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Day 278

Another shot down and another weekend gone.

Yesterday I spent the day back and forth to the couch. But on the bright side I did get some laundry washed, dishes done and I made a pot of homemade ham and bean soup.

Oh yeah, and I made it to the grocery store again. That's always a big deal for me. Fatigue makes it very slow going but I always feel like I accomplished something when I can get there.

Jimmy usually lectures me about the store saying "make a list and I'll go". He calls me stubborn. I guess there's just a part of me that still wants to be productive in my home.

I guess maybe in ways I am stubborn.

This morning is kind of ruff but still do-able. I'm hoping that I snap out of it as the morning goes on. It really does feel like I have the flu....but I know it's just the Peg. shot.

8 more weeks to go.

Have a Nice Sunday!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Day 276

Thursday was great. It was busy but I felt good!

One thing that I've noticed is that even when the brain fog isn't so thick in my head, my brain still has a hard time keeping up. I don't know if you would call it forgetfulness... it's more like my brain skips a beat during thoughts. It pauses and gets stuck at times, as I struggle to regain my thoughts and sort out the scrambled mess....I find that I have to recheck everything that I've done. Is that forgetfulness? Who knows...

What I do know is that after being on all of these for all of this time, I'm hoping that everything goes back to normal when this is all over and the drugs are out of my system.

I believe that it will. Terry, Teah and Iris are all a testament to that.

Anyway yesterday was great to me and even though today is Peg. Friday, I know this day will be good also! At least up until tonight.

Ducky is back!


Thursday, November 13, 2008

Day 275

60 days to go.......I wonder.....at how many days to go will I stop having that "yeah but" feeling.

You know what feeling that I mean? The words "60 days to go" comes out of my mouth but my mind still says "yeah but you still have 60 days to go". Will that change at 30? I can't imagine it being the same at 15.

I guess I'll find out......

Yesterday was a pretty good day up until I got home and found out that someone that I used to consider an old friend was arrested for child rape and molestation!

I'm floored! I still can not fully comprehend that he did this and has been doing for 7 years to his own step daughter.

I also can't believe that this is the same friend that I held a benefit for to raise money for when his families home was wiped out in a flood a few years ago.

You never know where the monsters hide.

I truly, full heartedly believe that if a man rapes a child, he should be castrated. I don't mean castrated by taking drugs....I mean castrated in the same way that a dog is castrated. He is nothing more than an animal and should be treated as such.

The sick bastard!

It is my hope that he spends the rest of his life paying for what he's done to this little girl.....because she has no choice but to live with the memory of it for the rest of her life.

I pray that the Judge who sentences him is a Real Man and not corrupted like other Judges have been in the past. I pray that this Judge will see a child rapist and that he will sentence as such!

Crimes against children deserve the severest penalties.

So yesterday started out well but ended in horror.

I am shocked.....

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Day 274

Well the brain fog only lasted part of the day yesterday. By late morning it started letting up. The rest of the day moved on pretty fast, the afternoon was busy.

I came home from work to find Jimmy cooking dinner. :) Have I mentioned that my Husband is beautiful?

I stayed up until 9 and then off to bed I went like a little old lady.

This morning is the same ole brain fogged waking up but not as bad as yesterday so I'm sure it will pass very soon.

I have a friend who is on standard tx. She's right around 30 weeks. She started crashing about a week ago.....nausea and fatigue.

When she started tx she went on a general forum site and found a group for Hep C. Someone there told her to stay away from fatty foods while she's on tx!

The one thing that I've learned from "experienced" tx'ers is that while taking Ribavirin you have got to take it with fatty foods. The drug breaks down faster with fat content and moves out of your stomach faster without as much nausea.

Also from what I understand, the high fat causes better absorption of the Ribavirin into your system.

The poor girl has spent her time taking the Ribavirin with stuff like orange juice. She's had nausea all the way through her tx.

If your new to tx, Please be careful about the advise that you find from others on the net. People always mean well (I hope) but sometimes they themselves are misinformed at times. Listen to what they have to say, but then move on and research their advise before acting on it. Even anything that you see here on my blog should be researched before trying....I am just a person going through tx and learning along the way.

Anyway, my heart goes out to her, she's having a ruff time of it right now. Hopefully it passes soon.

As for me, today is going to be good! My Duck is knocking.....


Have a Ducky Day Everyone....

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Day 273

Yesterday was a washout. I woke up with a headache that just held onto me for most of the day. Damned little drummer boy was beating on my brain so hard it made me sick to my stomach.

I woke up this morning with that washed out brain fog feeling. But hey, at least the headache is gone.

I'll splash some ice cold water on my face and see if I can't snap out of it for work. Today's going to be a busy day.

Hopefully it rolls by fast!

Have a Great Tuesday everyone!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Day 271

Yesterday wasn't too bad to me.

I had a couple of friends stop by to hang out for a while during the afternoon. Now a days thats pretty rare. I don't really go anywhere so I don't really see anyone outside of work. I suppose it's easy to be forgotten when it seem like you've dropped of the face of the earth.

It was nice to sit and chat with with them for a while. It felt like a little taste of normal. I'm so glad that they stopped by.....

I hung out on the couch for most of the day trying to save up the energy to make it to a good friends wedding reception last night. Saturdays are the hardest and I knew that if I was going to make it at all I'd have to save up what I could.

It worked because we made it there. She looked beautiful and I'm so happy that we got to see her and a few other friends that I've missed over the past year.

2 hours into it and about an hour after my bed time I was ready to go home. That's ok because I was just sitting around anyway.High heels and tx do not make good partners! lol

On the way home my vision once again decided to go bye bye. I don't know why this is happening so much right now. It was dorment for a few weeks there and now it's seems to be back with vengence.

A few minutes after Jimmy got me home it past. Ibuprofen kill the headache that it left behind and I was off to bed about an hour later.

Small price to pay to be able to see Gale on her wedding day.

Other than that, this weekend isn't too terrible.

Maybe Ducky will hangout with me for a while this week.......

Friday, November 7, 2008

Day 269

Well it's Friday again.

After tonight's shot I will officially be in the single digit weeks....9 weeks to go.

For the last couple of days I've been trying very hard to look past the tx. Trying to focus more on what I want to do when this is all over. I know I'll still have 9 weeks to go, but my mind needs something positive to hold onto.

Last Christmas I got a set of golf clubs from Jimmy and a year later I have yet to use them. So this spring I'm thinking of taking a golfing lesson to better my chances while playing Jimmy. lol....translated that means to better my chances at hitting the damn ball!

Also, we'll start planning our finishing tx celebration vacation. I want to go somewhere that has a lot of energy. A place with rides and lots of stuff to amuse my brain. We juggle the ideas of Las Vegas and Walt Disney World. In the end, since Jimmy's been to Las Vegas many many times and I been twice, we've decided on Walt Disney World.

I want to let loose and have some little girl fun....I want to forget that any of these 48 weeks even happened.

There is life after this horrible mess and while I can not see that yet....I can plan for it to come.

The Zoloft is making me clench my teeth again. I don't like this drug but I'll give it a few more days to see if it mellows out and starts to help. If it doesn't, I'll stop it again and I'll just have to deal with it.

It's just a matter of pretending to be ok and sooner or later I will be.

It's Friday....shot 38 day.

This weekend will be nice to me.....because I say so!

Enjoy!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Day 268

Yesterday was a semi busy day at work. That always help to pass the day.

I lost my vision again in the morning. But at least it didn't take as long as the day before to get it back....maybe 15 minutes and then I was fine again. It just left me with that slight tension headache that Ibuprofen seems to handle just fine.

That little drummer boy ain't going to get me!

There's just too many drugs rolling around in my body and my brain.

Just another day on tx......

Another nail in my dragons coffin.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Day 267

Congratulations Obama!

Now it's time to see how real his campaign promises are........


I went to vote early yesterday morning expecting a long line but found only 2 people ahead of me, so voting took only a few minutes.

Because I was so early I decided to take a nice slow drive to work. Almost most of the way there I began to realize that I was loosing my vision again. When it starts I get a few minutes before I loose it to the point of not being able to see and I knew I was close enough to make it to work and I did. I sat in the parking lot waiting for my vision to return. Once I thought it was passing and I had most of my vision back I went in. Maybe I should have stayed sitting in the car because it took almost another 15 minutes for the rest of peripheral vision to come back.

Once it was over I was fine again. I had a slight headache at the base of my scull....but nothing that Ibuprofen didn't handle.

Outside of a whole lot of brain fog and some fatigue, the rest of the day was uneventful.

This morning waking up my brain seems very foggy. I guess I could figure some of that brain fog is coming from the Zoloft that I restarted last night. I'm hoping that I can stand taking it this time. It's seems like the tx is really starting to play games on my thoughts. My self esteem has never been so low.....I try remind myself that my body has never been under this type of attack before and it's just the drugs playing games. 38 weeks are taking it's toll.

With all of the holidays coming up maybe I'll find a new distraction, and maybe the time will go faster.

Have a Nice Day everyone.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Day 266

I got up yesterday morning and fought to clear my mind through all of the brain fog trying to get ready for the hearing. I have to admit that I was really concerned about being able to think straight.

I went down to the local UC office for the scheduled time and sat there waiting. The Claimant wasn't there yet and I found myself chuckling at the thought of him showing up late for the hearing.

Finally we where called and he didn't show!

It turned out to be the easiest hearing that I've ever had to deal with in the 20 years of my having to go to appeal hearings! lol

Well finally today is Election Day!!!! After today we'll not only have a new President of the United States and hopefully a new Congressman named Lou Barletta....but we'll also have some peace again! No more phones ringing off the hooks. No more campaign signs and listening to the candidates slamming each other.

Just peace and quiet as we sit and watch how many campaign promises become truths and how many are forgotten.....

I'm going to go try to vote this morning before work, but if it's real busy I'll wait until after work when I have more time to stand around there.

By the time our new President and Congressman is elected I'll be snoring up a storm. I'll have to ask Jimmy to wake me with the results. Knowing him, he'll be up all night watching it unfold. My poor sweetheart never sleeps and with something like this going on I know he definitely won't sleep tonight.

This morning I'm finally coming out of the funk....I think.

My brain is a lot clearer than it has been and I don't feel too bad this morning.

There is one difference in this Tuesday morning...I forgot to do my Nuepogen shot again last night. That's ok though, I was thinking about changing it to Tuesday nights anyway. Maybe if I have Sat., Sun. and Mon. to recuperate from the Peg. shot, the Nuepogen bone aches won't be so hard to ignore.

Besides, having 4 days in a row with shots seems to be more worth it when I'll have 3 days in row without any.

For now I feel pretty good! I can almost see Ducky again!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Day 265

Well thankfully the brain fog lifted just enough yesterday for me to prepair for the hearing this morning...I think....maybe...

With any luck I'll be able to think clear enough at the hearing.

All in all the weekend wasn't too tuff. I spent some most of the afternoons on the couch but it wasn't as bad as some weekends.

I can't wait till this is all over and I can have my life back again. What do I have? 70 days to go. Next week it'll be 9 weeks...single digits! yeehaw.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Day 264

I woke up yesterday morning and took my daughter to the eye doctor for her routine exam. Afterward I made her help me at the grocery store and carry the groceries into the house.

I got the groceries put away and even got some light housecleaning done. By afternoon fatigue kicked in and I went couch bound.

All in all this weekend has been nice to me. I have that drug hangover going on this morning but at least I'm able to function.

With any luck my brain fog will go away by this afternoon because I have to sit down and prepair for a UC appeal hearing for tomorrow morning. I tried all week last week to lay out my questioning but the brain fog was too thick and I just couldn't think through it. By this evening I'll have no choice...the hearing is at 9:30 tomorrow morning. Hopefully my brain fog doesn't cost us the ruling.

At least this weekend is so much better than last weekend. My ear infection is cleared up and by tomorrow I should be able to drop the antibiotics. Dropping drugs at this point is always a big plus!

The Hot 6 Oil continues to be the best thing that I've found for my dry and chapping skin. It's cleared most of it up around my ears and my scalp is feeling so much better because of it. It is something that I've learned I'll have to use everyday to maintain control over it. If I skip a day the dryness starts to come back immediately.

Well it's 2 days until election day and our phone doesn't stop ringing. Most of the calls have come from the McCain campaign, probably because Jimmy and I are Republicans. I would have to give the McCain campaign an "F' for effort considering that when one of the phone calls was an actual human she asked me who I was going to vote for....when I said I was voting for Obama she said "oh....ok" and hung up! She didn't ask me why, she didn't try to talk McCain up, she didn't try at all to change my vote....lol....she just said "Oh, ok" and hung up!

LOL, I can't help but wonder why they are bothering to call?

I figure it this way, the next time a I get a McCain phone call, that is an actual Human, I plan to only say "Oh...ok" and I'll hang up.

7 Phone calls in one afternoon (5 from McCains Campaign, 1 from Obamas, and 1 for a poll) is way too many calls in one Saturday during tx much less a day when you feel healthy!

Today is Sunday. Historically this has been a day of peace, rest and worship. When I said to Jimmy that at least tomorrow is Sunday he said "Sunday! Oh they'll still call". I believe he's probably right. What's worse is that they aren't calling to try to sway my vote and convince me...they seem to be calling just to be a pain in my ass! Maybe today I'll bust them back....that is if I get a Human instead of a recorded message.

Election day is 2 days away. By the time this is over we'll all need Prozac!

Have a Nice Sunday Everyone!