Time is going by too fast.

Why do you suppose that as you get older time seems to move faster? Or is just me not wanting the Summer to end.

Jimmy's away this weekend and I have too much time to myself. I never minded spending time by myself.....but it seems harder right now.

The appartment seems so big and at night somewhat scary since the burgary. I feel safe when he's here.

Of course I have the place locked up like Fort Knox. Dead bolted, Knob locked, the security System armed and phone right beside me. But still.....every little sound in house keeps me awake.

I'm sure this feeling will pass.

Tonight I'll probably sleep like a log. Between not sleeping last night, working today and the wonderful magic hour of the 7pm fatigue that hits every night.....I'm gonna lay my head down and the world come down around me, I don't think it will be able to wake me.

I keep reading Teahs Blog just to see how she's doing. She's incredible. I will be just as strong when it's my turn. If you need a little boost and whole lot of info her blog is the place to go. She listed under my "Hero's".

It was Jimmy's 50 th Birthday this weekend. I thought I'd be a normal person and have a glass of wine. Like an idiot I had 3-1/2 glasses. Why do I do that? I'm not an alcoholic.....I just
somehow started believing that it's what normal people do.

What's with that? I know it's not good. And I know that I spent Sunday feeling like I couldn't get up. God seems to have a way of going knock knock on me. And when his little taps are ignored he tends to whack me upside the head.

So I get it....for the final time....I can either make myself sick and have a glass of wine...or I can decide to feel good and know that feeling good is what truly is normal.

Maybe I'll have to read this to myself every once and a while.

But for know I think I'll go lay down, the rest of my house work will have to wait for tomorrow night.

and the Summer goes speeding by.....

Such is life......

Well Jimmy and I just returned from Nautical Nights in the Finger Lakes of NY.

If it where not for Nautical Nights and it's owner I would have lost my mind this weekend. Let me start from the beginning.....

So, it was Friday Night and I worked at packing up our suit case for our trip the next morning. I wanted to get a bunch of cleaning done but Jimmy subggested that I pack first and clean later because if I get tired I can stop and we'll be packed.

lol....how well he already knows my limits.

On top of the already fatigued feeling that I get in evenings I now have Hay Fever worst that I have had in years! What the Hep C isn't taking out of me the hay fever is.

So low and behold I packed and started in on changing the bed. By the time I got the bed done I was ready to climb into it. So I called down to my loving husband (who was working at the Bar just as he does every Friday night) to tell him I was done for the evening and that I was going to climb into bed, I was exhausted.

At around 10:30 while I slept, Jimmy had come upstairs and left an envelope on my purse from the guy who commissioned me to paint for the retiring State Policeman. In the envelope was $450.00 cash. In my purse was my digital camera ready for our trip the next morning, $250.00 in cash, 4 credit cards, my license, my Social Security Card, my Daughters 2 uncashed checks for approx. $400.00 total, A prescription for Zanax and Heart Medication, mine and Jimmy's car keys and stuff that I can't even remember.

At 3:30 am my Husband came upstairs after closing the Bar and was in the shower when I woke up. I thought I'd take a heart pill since I was having fluttering and I went for my purse that was no longer there.

We were robbed! And were robbed while I slept less than 15 feet away from my purse!

They had broken in through a locked door, stood outside my bedroom, opened the envelope and walked out with my purse, everything in it and went out to Jimmy's car to riffle through it.

Cops came, took a report and left.

I couldn't sleep, so I went through our video surveillance camera's and I found him! Hopefully the cops can use the pictures. They might not be the clearest...but I'm hoping....

So the next morning, after calling in credit cards and securing the home front, we took off 5 hours later than we wanted.....but we escaped none the less.

My very best friend, Susan had a script for Zanax and the drug store had a refill for my heart meds. Susan is and has been been the Sister I never knew.

So with everything settled for the moment we set off for our 1st anniversary.

3-1/2 hours later we were driving down the very steep road in the woods to the Nautical Nights.
Jimmy and I had both fallen with this place last year when we went to the Finger Lakes for a short Honey Moon before our Honey Moon cruise to Bermuda. It's a piece of heaven on Lake Seneca. Not to lessen the beauty of Lake Seneca....but if it were not for the owners the place would not be the same. They make Nautical Nights into heaven. They match the property as much as the property matches the beauty of the lake. http://www.nauticalnights.com/

When it was time to leave I couldn't help but cry.

Since the robber took my digital camera I'll have to wait for a disposable camera to be developed before posting any pictures of our weekend.

Jimmy and I have made a promise to each other that we will go back every year for our anniversary. We made that pack last year and this is the second year that we've signed a bottle to place on a shelf along with so many other bottles from people before us.

If ever you find yourself anywhere near Nautical Nights, just North of Watkins Glen, you will be cheated if you do not stay at this place. I can't even begin to describe it....

So now we're home.....back to reality. You may have heard of Hazleton PA or our Mayor Louie Barletta and his Immigration Act for illegal immigrants....believe every word that you hear out of his mouth. The Hispanic gangs are taking our neighborhoods over, Crime is out of control and our City is out of control and in need of drastic measures. This is the second time in 3 years that I've been burglarized. If you haven't heard......... look up Hazleton and Loui Barletta on google....you'll see what I mean. This is a City fighting to survive!

Any way....I have to tell you that I've learned a couple lessons through this weekend. The first is one I already knew through things that have been horrible in my life -

Everything happens for a reason.

The second was told to me be neighbor after I told her about the break in on Friday.....

Place what happened on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being death. What happened was maybe a 7.

Had I woken up that night it may have moved up the scale.

And I realized by myself as I sat this Monday morning watching the Sunrise at 6 am. I realized for every bad thing that's happened to me there's always been something twice as beautiful that followed. Sometimes it was days or months later........this time it was Nautical Nights, My time with Jimmy and the sunrise on Sunday and Monday morning while my most precious and wonderful Husband slept a few feet away.

Life is good....even when the ugly finds a way to creep in.

And still the Summer continues.

To my Darling and Absolutely Wonderful Husband who slips on here every once and a while to read this blog,

know this....

I Love you with every beat of my heart.

I will beat this...so don't worry so much.

My will to be healthy and happy throughout our years of growing old together carries my strength. It's that strength that will beat this stupid little dragon.

I am no longer scared to face it.

While my tears over it may lay hidden....they're only tears of frustration over having it.

I work through them and as time goes by each tear is turned only into strength and the commitment to see this dragon of mine to it's death.

So don't worry My Love.....I will be alright! You and I will be racing our walkers and canes down our mountain to see who gets to the mail box first 30 years from now and this will all be just a memory.....

I Love you Jimmy.....Heart and Soul.

What a weekend!

I finished the painting....finally! I took a vacation day on Friday just to get it done.

Went last night to pick up the next project. This one I'm kinda worried about because I'll be doing it while on chemo and it's a major project. A motorcycle - fenders and tanks. The owner wants an eagle on the front holding a flag that will wave back over the tank and the back fender. Ripped and old looking with a helmet on top of a rifle and dog tags like a symbol for a lost soldier. There's a lot of other stuff going on the bike too, but that's the main theme.

I told him that it'll take me months. He's going to be patient....I don't know how I'm going to feel, so I told him he'll have it back in the winter.

We also made it to Seaside Heights. Jimmy went golfing in Ocean City and I took the kids to the shore.

We had a blast. I've always loved that place. I hope I feel like going next year when Jimmy is away in Ocean City.

The kids hope so too. It'll be my mini vacation with the kids each year.

This weekend is our wedding anniversary! We're going up to the Finger Lakes in upstate NY. A weekend of rest and relaxation. I need it!!

Only problem is....I think I'm getting a cold. I woke up this morning feeling more like shit than I usually do.

Got to call the doctor...I don't know what I can take and what I can't!

Did I mention that I thoroughly hate Doctors!

and the summer continues.......