The Simple Things In Life

Now This Is Summer!!!!

TaDa! The purple flowers are on my deck. The kids got me these for Mothers day. The white and the yellow flowers are from my vegetable garden. White - Pepper plant. Yellow- cucumber.

I love Summer!

And Yes...as you can see I've replaced the camera that was stolen from me during the burglary.

It's A Really Cool Camera!! Cannon Powershot A630. This thing Rocks!! Not to mention it's cheap! lol

Life sure knows how to be beautiful....doesn't it.

I went to the Doctor this morning. Even though I'm loosing weight and can't seem to eat enough to keep it, I've been feeling pretty good the last couple of days. Mentally I think I'm doing ok right now. Between my wonderful Husband, the beautiful Summer and my new friend "Uncertain4sure" who has made me understand, through just a few sentences, that what's in my head isn't just me. It's normal.

I suppose that I feel stronger hearing that from someone who is and has gone to the place I'm at now.

This whole thing is like a roller coaster....and right now....I'm ok again.

One last picture.

I grew up, most of my life in Rockledge Florida. When I was a little girl, maybe around 6 years old, I ate an orange and saved the seeds. My Sister and I planted the seeds in a pot and only one seed survived.

We took the baby tree that we started to my Grandmothers house and planted it in her yard.

The tree grew.

My Grandmother died 5 years ago. She was a woman like no other in my eyes. From her I inherited strength to overcome incredible boundies......The knowledge that I can do anything if I just work hard enough at it and not give up.......The touch of an Artist....and she taught me how to love and be loved. Lastly, she gave me the ability to stand still.....to see, hear, smell and taste the beauty of life.

She was my Grandma.

After her death, my Father moved into her house. About a year and a half ago Jimmy and I went to Florida for Jimmy to meet him, my Sister and my Mother.

While at my Grandmothers house my Sister picked me an orange from "our tree" and after I ate it, I saved the seeds. I planted 5 seeds and 5 trees sprouted from a tree that I planted 36 years ago for my Grandma.

I thought "How cool is that!"

I hope one day, with a lot of luck, I can get one of these trees to have fruit and my Grandchild will plant a seed for me!

Pennsylvania is not an orange tree type of state. But if it can be done....I will do it!

I think I've rambled enough for now...lol.

Enjoy your day....and the Summer.

Another mile stone in the summer has come and gone.

The Briggs Farm Blues festival.

Every year Jimmy M.C.'s the festival. He and Briggs family have been friends for years and because Jimmy's Bar was a well known Blue's Bar he took his Blues experience and volenteered to M.C. the festival every year for the past 10 years.

What began as a way for the Briggs to hold onto their farm has become over the years a Blues Festival that thousands of people look for ward to each July. Richard and Allison Briggs are very loving and wonderful people who have found a way to share their Farm in an incrediable way.

This is my 3rd year of going to the Festival. The first year Jimmy proposed to me there in front of over 3,000 people. Last year we we're newly weds and this year he stood up on that stage in front almost 4,000 people and said how he would do it all over again and how he loves me dearly.

Briggs Farm will always be so special to us.

It's funny.....almost 3 years now and we have yet to have an argument. I don't think we ever will.

Now after the wonderful weekend....it's back to life.

My little Dragon keeps wispering in my ear.....still there.... no matter how much I try to escape it. Still creeping up in my head.

The waiting is going to drive me crazy. Depression keeps trying to find a hold on me and I keep fighting it off.

I just want to start doing something about this. Waiting and waiting and waiting......this is so messed up.

I'm sick and I'm waiting to get sicker so that I can get better. Ok .....gonna go take a Xanax now and shut this damn dragon up for the night!

the waiting.....

The weekend was nice. Great Weather and I worked in the garden most of the time. Putted around the house a bit. My energy level was pretty good until Sunday night. By 7 I was ready for bed.

So why do I feel so down today? Why is it that this whole thing is bothering me so much today?

Yesterday Jimmy and I sat and watched a dvd that a Hep C support group sent to us. It was all positive .....but somehow it really bothered me.

When the dvd was over Jimmy asked me if I get angry because I have Hep C. I told him that I did, but now looking at it I don't know if it is anger. I had thought that I was doing pretty good dealing with this thing. I've been trying not to think about it. I work through the different problems that come up....the ones I now know are part of my little dragon. I try to keep them to myself so that I'm not some kind of whinny pain in the ass.

I was doing good, I think, until today. Or maybe it started last night.

There's this feeling that starts in the pit of my stomach and it grows upward past my throat, past my eye's that well up from it, it fills my mind with confusion and a feeling of being all alone (even though I know I'm not) . Those thoughts and feelings become intertwined with frustration and an overwhelming want to be normal and away from this thing that's inside of me.

Then fear creeps in and the Calendar changes to another month.....

I know I'm closer

...... but I'm afraid of the battle.