Day 169

Hump Day! What's with hump day....I wake up fatigued on Wednesdays.

This roller coaster is bringing me back to insomnia. I try to go to bed early and I just can't get comfortable. I fall to sleep only to wake up a little while later with my achy body yelling at me to roll over and find a new position. It's a vicious circle that goes on all night long and winds up giving me a headache at around 4 am.

I know I need the sleep to manage the fatigue, but I can't seem to get it.

I thought about turning my mattress but my poor Jimmy has thrown his back out while remodeling the bars bathroom downstairs. It looks so painful....he's a trouper with it though. He went to the Chiropractor and got some relief, but he's sore as hell.

I'll make the kids help me turn it this weekend.

Tomorrow when I go to Hershey I'll ask for something to help me.

While waking up this morning is slow, I hope that the day goes better......


Lisa.....read my comment to you on day 168. I Hope it helps!

Day 168

All went very good at the hearing yesterday. Now we just wait for the Referee's decision to come in the mail. I'm 99.9% sure that we won hands down. So yesterday was a good day. Note to whoever - when quitting a job to go to nursing school, don't just quit and think you collect unemployment by making up bogus lies! You will wind up embarrassed!

Woke up this morning feeling pretty good even though I was up and down a bit last night. Of course the security alarm beep beepin' at 4 and 5 am didn't help anything.

I worked on more of the plotting for the building front this morning and off to work I go.

Hope the day stays nice to me!

Have a Happy Tuesday!!

day 167

Yesterday was day 166.....my half way point through tx!

The good point, I'm Half way done!

The not so good point, I have half the same distance to go as I've just come. This truly is the middle of the tunnel and there's a long walk to get to the other end. I know because I've just come this far.

I'm hoping that now that I'm over this hump, I'll be able to start to see the end of this thing coming sooner or later.

For right now it's been a long journey and it looks like a long journey to go yet....

Yesterday was good to me, so maybe it's a good sign. Other than the lumps on my neck still, the hair falling out, the itchy as hell skin, my sore mouth and some fatigue...my Peg. shot from Friday night didn't couch bound me this weekend. I didn't do much all weekend except take it easy and slow, but all in all I didn't feel too terrible!

This morning I'm doing pretty good too. The fatigue has me moving kind of slow but at least I can function.

I was supposed to go to Hershey today but I had to reschedule it for Thursday because I have to go to an unemployment appeal hearing this morning to represent my company. It should be an easy hearing to defend. I just can't believe how many people simply walk out of their jobs and think they can get unemployment for whatever bogus reason they can come up with.

It does tend to make my job interesting and it gives me a break from the everyday ho hum.

So anyway, Hershey got changed to Thursday. It'll be my 24 week visit. They'll do the whole 9 yards of testing. Physical, EKG and loads of bloodwork.

I'm thinking about getting sleeping pills for my insomnia. I feel so much better after days that I sleep well and there are times that those days are far and few in between. I'm thinking that sleeping pills might help the nights that I can't get the sleep my body is starving for.

I'm also going to talk to her about my mouth. I can't seem to keep it to the point that it doesn't hurt while I eat. For me that's very important since painful eating causes me to skip it and my weight is already too low.

Monday....we'll see what this day brings.

For this morning I'm still feeling just ducky!

Day 165

The Day has been pretty good to me considering Saturdays are usually pretty ruff. I've stayed close to the couch most of the day but I have managed to get a few things done. Like spending the afternoon with my grand baby. Athena came over and got my heavy house cleaning for me while I got to cuddle with baby Cory. He's 9 months old today!

This morning I started on the final finishing touches for the Mosaic building front design and after Athena and Cory Left I finished it.....finally! The entire building front is almost ready to plot out! lol.

I've already plotted the center out and he's almost through the hole thing ,a 28' x 8' section. That's a lot of 1"x3" and 1/2"x1/2" pieces of glass!! Poor guys fingers are getting beat up all ready and by the time this project is complete he'll be in traction for his back!

We've got a ways to go.

I'll work on plotting the sections out that are to the right of the guy in the middle.

My fingers are crossed that Riba Rage doesn't make me throw the plotter out the window tomorrow~ lol

I'd say that it was a nice slow day today.

My fingers are crossed hoping that tomorrow is too.

Day 164

Yesterday started getting a little better with the fatigue as it went on. I'm hoping that today is much better yet because I have to take the Peg. shot tonight and one thing that I've learned about Friday's is that if I feel like crap before the shot, I'll be couch ridden all weekend long!

So I hope today gets better.

I had to purchase the Dreamweaver software yesterday to replace the garbage that I bought from Microsoft a year ago to build our website. FrontPage is now in the garbage! Microsoft should be ashamed of themselves for ripping us off so freakin' often. If I had half a brain I'd join the hackers who attack Microsoft. I completely understand why it's happening. This is the 4th Microsoft product that I've gotten screwed over on and I can't count the hundreds of hours and dollars that it's cost me personally and my company at work. What's more frustrating is that Microsoft really just does not care!

In the future I would even consider buying a Mac!

The new software should be here next week and it'll take me a few days to figure it out. It might be a nice distraction from tx. Hopefully working with it will help to make the time go by faster. Hopefully the brain fog doesn't make learning it take longer. We'll see if my brain can handle it!

Have a Good Day everyone!

Day 163

Fatigue fatigue fatigue!

That's what yesterday was and today isn't starting out much better.

I took an Ambien last night in hopes that I would sleep better. I think I did. I didn't do the "It has to be later than that!" dance all night long looking at the clock.

But this morning the fatigue is still right there telling me to go even slower than I have been.

Sitting down I feel not too bad. The wave of fatigue really only hit while I'm moving about. Sitting down I just feel alittle drained.

Maybe I'll snap out of this set back sometime today.....if not, maybe tomorrow. I'll go to bed early again tonight and maybe that'll help.

It's funny how you scramble to come up with ways to feel better while on tx. While you feel good you enjoy .....but when you fall back down and you start feeling like shit, you'd do or take just about anything just to have the feeling good back again.

For now all I can think of is getting more sleep.

I have the feeling that the next 6 months is going to be about work and sleep.....

I looking for Ducky....I know he didn't go far.

Day 162

Yesterday was filled with a whole lot of fatigue.

After dragging through work I stopped at Burger King for supper and found out that I still get "Riba rage". Took 15 minutes in the drive thru because their coke machine was screwed up and they refused to just give me the money back for a large coke and let me be on my way. Oh no! they had to make me sit and wait while they fixed the damned machine! Bad choice for them because what they found when they finally brought me my food was a total bitch.

Then when I got home the food was cold because I think they just left my food in the bag while they toyed around with the coke. Pissed me off all over again! lol....I won't be going back to Burger King!

I ate my cold dinner only because I had to take the Ribavirin and then I crashed on the couch.

The night to come was filled with insomnia up and down all night.

I took my late Nuepogen shot and at 9pm I got up to get ready for bed and while doing so I found that I now have bald spots popping up on my head. The one is a little bigger than the size of a quarter right in the middle of the back of my head!

I know I've lost at least half of my hair......but now bald spots!!! S.O.B.!!! I was hoping that my hair was just thinning out.....but no....I freakin' really going bald!

That's just not funny!

It's things like these that make you loose sight of why we're taking these drugs.

It's just such a long treatment that it's hard to keep it in perspective.

Through the itching, fatigue, "riba rage", lost weekends being sick on the couch, rashes, mouth sores, 4 injections a week, bone pain, joint aches, Brain fog, the "what the hell is that" eye problems and now going bald.....through all of this stuff it's hard to remember I'm at war with a dragon called Hep C and I'm winning. It's hard to stay focused. It's just hard.

People say to me "Oh but you look so good". Really? What else are they supposed to say? Wow you've lost 20 pounds and you look like an Ethiopian?

Now I'll start looking like a bald Ethiopian. But they'll still say I look good and I'll still say thank you. They'll still ask how I'm feeling and I'll still say I'm hanging in there. I mean really....what the hell is anyone supposed to say?

Yep....this morning is a head trip. The Ribavirin and bald spots have messed up my head...

It's time to go get ready for work and then take more of them...yeahaw.

I guess I shouldn't have gone back off the Zoloft huh?

And the day goes on.......

Day 161

Terry Lee Got His final Results Back!!!!

Ta-ta-ta-dum......He's Undetectable!!!!!!!!

Congratulations Terry the Dragon Slayer!!!!!

You're finally done!!!!

My Hero!


Yesterday at work wasn't as crazy as it has been. Susan's back from vacation so the work load has lessened. Of course that means that the day is longer and for a Monday that's never a good thing.

I woke up this morning and realized that I forgot to take the Nuepogen last night! Brain fog is pretty thick the last few days.

I'll have to take it tonight.

I guess part of why I missed the shot was because I spent the evening fighting with FrontPage trying to get the good for nothing program to publish an update on the Roads End website.

Did I mention that Microsoft Corp. Sucks!!! FrontPage is completely worthless. Out of the blue it won't work with our site anymore and Microsoft decided not to offer tech support for it now. So it's become worthless to me and a waist of time as I will now have to look into buy a new program and redesign our website. UMPH! No wonder why the hackers attack Microsoft so much!

So that will be what I'll be doing for the next few weeks. Looking into programs like Dreamweaver and Hot Dog trying to figure out which one I'll learn faster in order to get the site up and current again.

This morning isn't too bad. Waking up is it's usual slow process. I took something to make me sleep last night and tried to go to bed early. I think I fell to sleep at around 9:30 so that wasn't too bad. I didn't start waking up until around 4am. Then off and on until the alarm went off at 6:30am. By that time I was sleeping so good that I must have hit the snooze instead of the off button on the alarm. I got up, grabbed my coffee and came to the computer for my morning ritual.

Out came Jimmy a while later with that look on his face!......oooops!.....I didn't shut the alarm off! That sucks because he has insomnia every night of the week and doesn't ever fall to sleep until around 4 or 5 am. It's part of being a Bar owner I think. I hate waking him up with my alarm and I've been good about it for a while now.....but low and behold I had to leave it go off this morning! Damned brain fog!

Sorry Honey!

Well it's Tuesday....let's see what the day brings.

Have a Great Day Everyone!

Day 160

Yesteryday was slow moving. Not the day....just me.


But I still accomplished getting the banners done and I even got the bathroom cleaned! YeeHaw!


Even though I had some insomnia last night again, I still woke up this morning feel half assed ok.

The only thing driving me nuts is the itching and the hair that I have to keep pulling off of my arms. It's falling off of my head and driving me crazy! lol. It gets everywhere. Nothing like having a piece of hair in your shirt tickling your chest! Drives me nuts! lol





Anyhow, I think ducky has return for now. Hopefully he stays the week.

Jimmy found these Ducky's at the Brigg Farm Blues Festival while he was M.C.'ing two weekends ago and brought them home.

I think They're bringing me good luck!

I'll take one to work and keep it on my desk!

:)

Day 159

I really didn't do anything all day yesterday. My only accomplishment was that I plotted, cut and weeded the vinyl for a new banner on the Roads. Actually I only weeded....the computer and plotter did the rest of the work. I didn't even get it transferred onto a banner yet and of course my bathroom is still a disaster!

I spent most of the day lounging around. The body aches got to me at around noon and wouldn't let up all day.

This morning was tuff waking up and getting my mind cleared. Brain fog has me captured this morning, but as it clears I think today might turn out better than yesterday.

Sundays are always up in the air. I never know if I'll be upright or attached to the couch for the day. Either way there's never any energy to do anything big....so I just putt around the house here and there.

I'll start the bathroom this morning and hopefully I'll have it clean by tonight.

Jimmy has a golf tournament to go to today and it looks like it'll be a beautiful out for it.

He's been working on the mosaic building front all weekend long.

He's got a long way to go but he's about halfway through a 24'x8' section. The total building front is about 35'x30'. Now that's a lot of glass!

He's putting the glass on sheets of mesh and he'll apply the sheets to the building front like a puzzle and the grout it in as he goes.

It'll probably take him through the winter to get the sheets all ready to apply next spring.

Lot's of work! I have to get the rest of the building plotted out on paper before he catches up to me! He works like a mad man! lol!

Enjoy your Sunday everyone! I'll spend the morning looking around for Ducky....I'm sure he'll be around soon!

Day 158

uuuugh! Saturday! No energy!

I can't say that I feel too terrible, there's a lot of fatigue reminding me to go slow but other than that I have the "normal" everyday stuff going on like the lumps on my neck, my mouth being a mess and itchy skin everywhere.

I'll take it easy today and maybe it'll get better.

It's amazing to realize how much I used to count on the weekends to get stuff done around the house. My poor house suffers from these weekends of fatigue. I'll have to have Athena come next weekend and pick up my slack.

This weekend, however, I'll take 2 days to get my bathroom cleaned! lol...I go that slow! Couch - bathroom - couch - bathroom.....lol

Enjoy the day everyone!

Day 157

My mouth is a mess....shin itches like hell...lumps are still on my neck, I leave hair behind everywhere and now insomnia kicked in last night. But believe it or not I still feel pretty good! I look like shit, but I feel pretty good.

That's another funny thing about tx, sometimes you look good and feel like hell and other times you look like hell and feel pretty good. LOL what's up with that?

Maybe I just lowered my expectations of what feeling good feels like?

No...I think I just know what really feeling bad feels like and I base everything else on that.

Last night I was up and down all night long. That makes for a very long night. Sometimes I think the Nuepogen causes insomnia. I try to take the shot as early as I can, but there are those nights that it just doesn't matter.

I got up this morning feeling rested so it didn't effect too much. Maybe I've just had enough sleep lately to compensate.

Busy day today....thank god it's Friday! .....ummm....sorta. Tonight is Peg. night. Friday's are bitter sweet.

Have a Great Day! Come hell or high water...I know I'm going to!

Day 156

Last night was one of those go to bed at 8pm nights. Work was crazy yesterday and wore me out. Fatigue here and there didn't help anything. I stayed feeling good all day, I just got really tired by the time I got home.

This morning I woke up with a very sore mouth. Even my lips have developed small sores on them. I don't think that I did anything to kick it into high gear....I think it's just another one of those "what the hell is this about" type of things that pop up with tx.

I'll stop at the drug store on the way home tonight for Campho-Phenique. It usually works wonders on my lips for cold sores, so I'm hoping that it'll do it's trick for this. It smells like hell though....

Other than that I think my sleep did the trick!

I'm still feeling ducky! :)

Day 155

Work is crazy right now....but the day goes fast. I want all of these days to go fast......

I'm still feeling pretty good. Went to bed early last night and that still seems to be the trick for now.

Hopefully it doesn't change next week.

I actually made it to the grocery store yesterday after work! I haven't gone to the store for almost a month, so we where pretty much out of everything. I got so sick of ordering out for food that I had no choice. I wanted a home cooked meal and by god I was going to have one! lol

This morning is nice. It's a beautiful day out and I'm feeling good.

:)

Day 154

Waking up is tuff this morning. I just wanted to stay in bed!

I'm starting to wonder if my hair falling out will slow down anytime soon. It comes out in small handfuls and at this rate I will go bald or so thin that I'll have to wear a hat or scarf.

I thought about a wig but I just can't see myself in one. Hummmm....can't really see myself in a hat or scarf either, so I guess time will tell.

I'm thinking about getting my hair cut even shorter. What does it really matter if it's falling out anyway?

I feel pretty good this morning....I'll have to go slow as fatigue seems to be visiting me when I try to move fast.

All and all Ducky is still hanging out! Thank god.

I'll go to bed early tonight just to make sure he stays!

Day 153

The Beach was beautiful and the kids had a blast!

I spent most of the time lounging around. The boardwalk was next to impossible for me to walk. Fatigue knocked me out and the sun was a killer. Even though I bought an umbrella and stayed in the shade I still managed to get on hell of a sun burn. Tx makes my skin ultra sensitive to the sun. I never burned so easy in my life! Now it's moisturizer city for me! lol

It was nice having a mini vacation with the kids. But still I missed Jimmy. I'm glad the weekend went fast. It was nice to get home.

I don't think I'll be planning anymore vacations while on I'm on these drugs....it just takes too much out of me.

Day 150

Thank God it's Friday!!!!!

Yesterday was the same ole thing....busy as hell at work, come home, eat and go to bed. When the fatigue hits at night it nocks me right out! But I still felt good. I just still have to go slow.

I'm trying to take it easy hoping that I don't start feeling sick again.

Tonight is going to be a bit crazy. I have to get the cooler packed for the beach and the kids will all be here waiting for morning so that we can leave.

Jimmy will be at the Blues Festival before I get off of work, so I really won't see him until it's time to leave in the morning. I love watching him M.C. the festival....I'll enjoy the beach but I do wish we had picked a different weekend to go.

I still have the lumps on my neck and my skin is still itchy as hell, something keeps going on with my eye's...but other than that I feel pretty good.

I hope Ducky stays with me for the weekend!!!

Have A Nice Weekend Everyone....Hope your all feeling good!

Day 149

....and still feeling pretty good.

Yesterday was pretty crazy at work. It made the day go by fast!

By the time I got home I was exhausted. I got the poker scores ready for the bar, ate supper, took my Procrit and went to bed.

It's not a very exciting life that I have this week but at least I'm still feeling pretty good.

I'm still taking the 1/2 Zoloft. I think it might be helping my mood....but who knows, my feeling better may be doing it too!

Whatever it is I hope it continues!

Day 148

Hump day and I'm still feeling good.

Yesterday was sort of busy at work so the day went fairly fast. Came home last night and went to bed early again. This time I had to. I got so tired all of a sudden that I started seeing double...lol.

I slept another 10 hours and woke up this morning feeling good again. I guess I just need all that sleep. My fingers are crossed that this continues.

I'm taking my daughter and her friends to the Jersey Shore this weekend for a Graduation celebration. I'll stay the weekend and leave them there. They're staying until Tuesday. I'll just spend my time lounging on the beach with loads of sunscreen on!

Jimmy has the Briggs Farm Blues Festival to M.C. this weekend. I can't believe it that time already! I was going to go on Friday night but I've decided to pass. I get some sleep before we go to the shore instead. This will be the first time I've missed it since Jimmy and I have met. Kinda sad I guess.

For now I'm still feeling Ducky! Thank God! :)

Day 147

I actually woke up feeling human today!

I slept 10 hours last night and only woke up a couple of times. Maybe sleep is the answer..... Someone posted on a blog somewhere (not sure if it was Terry or Teah) that these drugs have a little war going on in your body 24 hours a day and that it's taking energy to keep that war going 24 hours a day causing you to require more sleep. Problem is that my mind is awake and my body is ready for bed. Somehow I have to learn to convince my mind that it needs the sleep also. If I have to I'll take sleeping pills...I'd rather not....but if I have to I will. Anything to continue feeling better....

Monday was slow. It always is. I went to work, I came home. We ordered pizza and at 9:00 I went to bed.

Mondays.....blah!

Ducky is back for the day so far! I hope he sticks around for a while, I could really use him!

Day 146

errrrr.....Monday Morning.

The weekend went too fast. I spent most of my time on the counch and you would think that the days would go slower that way....but they they're not.

I did pretty much nothing yesterday. I layed around trying to get energy up but the energy wouldn't come. So it was a lazy Sunday.

This morning I would rather still be in bed. Waking up is slow, but that's become normal.

I don't feel too terrible so I'm hoping that the day will be good and go fast. I'll go to bed early tonight to see if it helps get me through the week.

I'm hoping that my friend Ducky visits soon...

Day 145

Yesterday was nice. I hung out with the kids all day....mostly on the couch. It couldn't have been too much fun for them, but I enjoyed the company.

With their help we cooked BBQ Chicken on the grill and Crystal and I made potato salad. The boy's whipped up a double Chocolate cake for desert! Everything looked wonderful! Only problem is I just couldn't eat. I tried like hell, but the timing was real bad.

I did manage a big piece of that Chocolate cake about 2 hours later! lol So it's not like I didn't get something in me! Chocolate cake is a wonderful thing for a skinny woman! lol

It seems that I have a new "What the hell is that?". All of the skin on the back of my scalp feels tight as though the back of my upper neck and scalp are slightly swollen. It started yesterday and I just tried to ignore it, but this morning it's still there. Whatever it is it can't be helping the hair that seems to be falling out by the bunches.

I worry, of course, that it may have something to do with the lumps on my neck. If it gets any worse I'll call Hershey again. For now I'll just play the we'll wait and see game.

This is one big problem with tx, there are so many things happening to your body that you can't identify. Who knows what's bad and what's just from the drugs? All of a sudden I don't know my own body.

This morning I woke up slowly but I'm not feeling to terrible. I'm a bit washed out and fatigued, but not bed ridden.

I have a full work week a head of me so I'll try to take it easy today. Got to store up some of that energy.

Hopefully this day continues to be good. I'll just slow and take it easy.

My deck looks like a jungle after all the rain that we've had. The are hundreds of flowers all over my tomato and tomitillio plants. Between what's on my deck and what's in the garden below, Eddie won't need to buy very much produce for the restaurant in the near future! lol

Day 144

Yesterday was dreary, foggy and rained much of the day. That pretty much described how I felt, so I spent most of the day hanging out on the couch. I got some laundry done but not much. Other than that I played it lazy.

Crystal, Cory and Jonathan spent the night hanging out with us and we watched the fireworks from our 3 story roof. It's a great place to be every year. It's a high flat roof and from up there you get to see the fireworks from about 10 different communities with fireworks from every direction.

I woke up this morning and was ready to feel horrible from the Peg. shot last night, but I don't think it's as bad as last week.

I'm able to wake up ok and moving around may be slow because of fatigue.....but at least I don't feel like total hell! I can cope with this weeks shot. I couldn't last week.

You just never know what this stuff is going to do to you each week! Do I feel better this week because I got more sleep or rest? Is there something I did wrong last week that caused me to suffer so much more?

I give up trying to figure it out. It has a mind of it's own and it'll kick me in the ass whenever it please with no rhyme or reason.....

This week I think it might have mercy on me.

Today is Nascar day at my house and the boy's are ready for some BBQ chicken compliments of "Jimmy The Grill Master", Potato salad and Corn on the cob in front of the tv that they'll spend their time yelling at! lol

Me? I'll hang out on the couch laughing at them!

Jonathan and Jimmy are rivals in every sport that they watch and they love to bust each others ass.

Have a nice day everyone......

My couch buddy Jack and his great big smile!

This is his place when either one of us is not feeling well.

Jacks a Diabetic and takes an insulin shot twice a day.

It kind of confuses him when I get my needles out to take my injections because he thinks it's time for his! (He sort of likes his because he gets a treat)

Day 143

It's Friday! Happy 4th of July everyone!

What's best is that I don't have to go to work! Thank God because waking up this morning has been ruff. I stayed in bed until 9 and then it took me another hour to get my head clear. I took a whole Zoloft last night and I don't think I'll do that again...I think I'll just stick to halves because I hate the way it makes me feel.

This week was something else. I forgot to mention that I did actually get something accomplished this week. I had an Unemployment appeal hearing to go to on Monday for an ex employee who was terminated from work. She came with a lawyer and I still won the case! So I did accomplish something this week!

The day is all foggy and raining. It looks like I feel.

I'm hoping that I can get something accomplished with my daughters help today. Laundry needs to be done and the house needs to be cleaned. She stayed the night last night because she was working late downstairs at the bar. I'll talk her into giving me a hand. Hopefully it won't turn into a headache as she still has too much teenager in her!

I'm working hard at feeling better. I'm trying to stay positive and I'm going slow.

Tonight is Peg. night. I hope this one is easier on me than last week.

Hope Everyone Has A Wonderful 4th Of July!

Day 142

Pulling out of this funk is getting harder the further into tx that I get. But I think I'm slowly coming back out of it.

Yesterday was somewhat better. The fatigue dragged me down, but my body wasn't as sick as it has been. I really think that the extra sleep helps. I do hate going to bed early as I feel like my life may become nothing more than work and sleep. I guess that's just my sentence for now....6 months to go.

I didn't mean to, but I got Jimmy very worried the other night. I was just so tired of being sick and all I could was sit there and cry. It's hard when you're almost half way and you've had such a hard time of it so far. Looking forward, you have just as far to go as you've come.

It's like standing in the middle of a very long curved tunnel and you can't see the light at either end.

That's just the way it feels when I'm real sick for days on end.

So the other night after I went to bed, Jimmy got a hold of Terry Lee. He just didn't know what to do with me. He wanted to get me help from someone who had been there. He picked the perfect one to call. If anyone has been through it all, it's Terry.

Terry called last night. It was so good to hear from him. Just listening to him recount what he went through reminds me that I could have it worse. My God he went through hell!

He also truly understands. Talking to someone who has been on these drugs is such a support.

You just can't tell someone who hasn't been on these drugs how you feel. They just can't fully understand what this stuff does to you.

Jimmy did the best thing possible, he called Terry and like a wonderful friend, Terry came to my rescue.

Thank you Terry! I needed that!

And thank you my love for calling him. You are a beautiful Husband!

This morning after Terry's phone call and a good nights sleep, I'm pulling my boot straps back up again and I'm marching forward.

I'm going continue to take the Zoloft...it'll take a few days to start to work but hopefully it'll help keep me out of that funk.

We started this, we may be in the "no man's zone" right now, but we will finish it!

All I need now is to find my good friend Ducky......

Day 141

I think I'm coming back out of the funk again....but it's slow going.

I slept 10 hours last night and I think I could really sleep another 2 or more.

I got the my counts back from Hershey yesterday and they seem ok. I had a different Doctor who looked at my lumps and he agrees with my Doctor that I either had a bacterial infection or I have one and am still getting over it. Time will tell.

To top that off, there's also the chance that I may have been on the arm of the trial that gave me Full trial drug but only half the Pegasys. Now going out of the full trial drug and into full peg., my body will have to adjust again.

Still I'm only at 75 units of Peg and full strength of the ribavirin. I think if they decide to bump my Peg back up to 100 units I might argue. I only weigh 119 pounds now....so how many drugs could I possibly take?

I started back on the Zoloft last night. I'm trying just a half pill to see if that will help. I'll try it again for a couple of weeks and hopefully it pulls me out of the funk I'm in and doesn't hit me with more sides.

At least my Lymphocytes are good. Nurse Sandy said that Roche has been giving a drug to help those with low Lymphocytes. The last thing that I wanted was to have to take yet another drug!

I'm happy that the Nuepogen and Procrit are doing their job....but 4 injections a week are enough for me!!!!

I think I'm starting to feel better today, my fingers are crossed.

Day 140

We went to Hershey yesterday. They took extra blood to run it through their own lab so we'll have the results this morning.

I took the Nuepogen last night but they had me hold the Ribavirin until we get the blood test back this morning.

I hope my counts are not dropping again. I just feel really bad right now.

Doctor thinks that the lumps on my neck are from the drugs. It seems that I may just have to deal with them until this is over.

I'm fighting to get moving, fighting to feel better this morning....fighting to get ready for work, but all I really want to do is go back to bed.

This Tuesday...outside of the bone aches I should start feeling better by now.

I hope that I hear from Hershey early.