Day 162

Yesterday was filled with a whole lot of fatigue.

After dragging through work I stopped at Burger King for supper and found out that I still get "Riba rage". Took 15 minutes in the drive thru because their coke machine was screwed up and they refused to just give me the money back for a large coke and let me be on my way. Oh no! they had to make me sit and wait while they fixed the damned machine! Bad choice for them because what they found when they finally brought me my food was a total bitch.

Then when I got home the food was cold because I think they just left my food in the bag while they toyed around with the coke. Pissed me off all over again! lol....I won't be going back to Burger King!

I ate my cold dinner only because I had to take the Ribavirin and then I crashed on the couch.

The night to come was filled with insomnia up and down all night.

I took my late Nuepogen shot and at 9pm I got up to get ready for bed and while doing so I found that I now have bald spots popping up on my head. The one is a little bigger than the size of a quarter right in the middle of the back of my head!

I know I've lost at least half of my hair......but now bald spots!!! S.O.B.!!! I was hoping that my hair was just thinning out.....but no....I freakin' really going bald!

That's just not funny!

It's things like these that make you loose sight of why we're taking these drugs.

It's just such a long treatment that it's hard to keep it in perspective.

Through the itching, fatigue, "riba rage", lost weekends being sick on the couch, rashes, mouth sores, 4 injections a week, bone pain, joint aches, Brain fog, the "what the hell is that" eye problems and now going bald.....through all of this stuff it's hard to remember I'm at war with a dragon called Hep C and I'm winning. It's hard to stay focused. It's just hard.

People say to me "Oh but you look so good". Really? What else are they supposed to say? Wow you've lost 20 pounds and you look like an Ethiopian?

Now I'll start looking like a bald Ethiopian. But they'll still say I look good and I'll still say thank you. They'll still ask how I'm feeling and I'll still say I'm hanging in there. I mean really....what the hell is anyone supposed to say?

Yep....this morning is a head trip. The Ribavirin and bald spots have messed up my head...

It's time to go get ready for work and then take more of them...yeahaw.

I guess I shouldn't have gone back off the Zoloft huh?

And the day goes on.......