Day 89

Roches blood work came back -

WBC 1.2
Haemoglobin 10.1
Platelet 42
Neutrophils, abs .49

They've stopped the Trial Drug and Inerferon. I took a full shot of Nuepogen last night and will take a half shot of Nuepogen on Monday night. We continue the same Ribavirin as before.

I'll go on Tuesday for blood work again. Hopefully my levels can pull back out of the spiral before they drop any lower.

We're pretty much hoping that we caught it early enough this time that we'll be able to stop the fall.

I really don't want to have another blood transfusion.....it freaks me out. If I have to I will but I just can't help but remember that it's what more than likely caused this whole mess to begin with. I know they test the blood supply differently now a days....but really they didn't know about Hep C back then to test for it anyway...what don't they know about now?

It's a mental trip, I know.

If I have to then I have to.....

I woke up this morning with bone pain in my arms and back. Nausea is pretty nasty too. They say that's from the Nuepogen and it's one of the biggest reason that I was going to start dividing the Nuepogen shot in half over 2 days instead of taking the whole whammy at once with the Procrit. But with my levels dropping they want me to get as much Nuepogen into me as possible. So a whole shot it is and this morning is ruff.

Mentally I'm just as down as my blood levels. The 2 are definitely directly related. I can usually cope ok with the normal daily tx sides....but when I get like this, I get to the point that the frustration of it brings me to tears. Hell everything brings me to tears...

I just need to get my levels up and I know everything will be ok again. It'll take a few days for that to happen....but if they'll just stop dropping I know I'll be alright.

Time will tell. For now I just hold on, pray and I force myself to eat.

Maybe the day will get better.......