7:30 and I took my shot #10. The injections are so much easier with Jimmy's help. I grab everything out and get it ready....but my mind is screaming not to do it. I hate the idea that it makes me sick and puts me down for the weekend. If it weren't for Jimmy helping me through it I just don't know what I would do. He makes me so much stronger.
This morning I woke up and everything aches. The little drummer boy has found my upper back and my neck muscles again. He's an evil little son of a bitch. I'll take some Tylenol as soon as I think my stomach can handle them.
Hopefully I start to snap out of the funk because today I really wanted to put the kids to work on my back yard cleaning it up from the Winter and getting the garden ready for planting. I may just wind up hanging out supervising. We'll see.....
I have to admit that I kind of stopped taking the A.D.'s for now. Even the Lexapro was causing my body to feel tense. It was tieing my stomach up into a knot.
I'm going to re-start it tonight. I had it in my mind that maybe it was making me feel lousy because I jumped right from Zolaft (that was making me feel like a living hell) to Lexapro without any break in between the 2 drugs.
I thought I'd give it a few days to get the Zoloft out of my system before starting the lexapro. We'll see if it helps by tomorrow after I restart it tonight. I know that I need something.....
Well it's the weekend and Ducky always deserts me every weekend! All I can hope for is that one of these weekends he'll stick around.
It was wonderful to hear from my Trial Buddies Dorene and Rose! :) They posted comments on day 75. It's inspiring to know that we are all still hanging in there! My heart goes out to them...
Emi....are you still around?
3 comments:
Good Morning Laurie, thank you for being there, I don't know if I could go through this without reading your posts. They give me strength. At the begining of this I was led to believe that after about 8 weeks I would get used to feeling sick and would do better. Well yesterday was the 12th week and while I did have a good week two weeks ago, the past two weeks have been hell, sorry I didn't write to you, I became a hermit and didn't talk to anyone. :)
So, yesterday when I complained to the doc he said "You are undectable, what do you want?" I told him I wanted to feel better and he said that the 48 weeks will have ups and downs and there is no way to predict how I will feel from day to day (Yippee) he then said that at least I am undectable, there are people out there who have been taken off the trial at week 12 because they did not improve. Can you imagine going through this heck and then someone tells you "sorry you are off the trial"
That gave me a new perspective. I know what you mean about A/D's I did not want to take either but I need something so I am on Prozac, started on 10mg and amd now up to 60. I hope it works, good thing is that it does not seem to give me any side effects. I was a little nervous at first but that went away.
Have a great weekend, I will be sitting o my couch thinking of you ha ha
Love
D
I'm glad my blog is helpful. :) It gives me a little therapy and a place to vent, expecially since we don't have any type of support in my area. Talking to you helps me greatly.
Yes we are the lucky ones so far and it is hard to keep all of it in perspective when you feel so bad day after day. I image that there is also a group of people who drop themselves out of the trial because they just can't cope with the 48 week "flu".
I'd be interested in knowing how many people are left standing at the end of this trial.
I now that we'll be there in the end just because I couldn't imagine going through this for 11 weeks and dropping out. I just couldn't bring myself to look back at the misery of 11 weeks and have nothing to show for it.
The 12 week blood tests are my imediate goal. After that, getting rid of the trial drug at 24 weeks is the next goal. I know we will feel better...
I don't even look at the full 48 weeks anymore. It's just too overwelming. By the time I hit the 24 week mark I'll be half done and hopefully feeling better.
We can make this happen. Just try not to look at the 48 weeks. The smaller goals tend to help me.
Hang in there Dorene 12 more weeks and you get to drop the trial drug. I think we'll feel much better with that out of the way.
Hope your feeling better today! I don't know about you but I think I'll have to have my couch re-stuffed when this is all over with! lol
Enjoy your day!
((Hugs))
Love
Laurie
Oh.... poor you with the back pains. I know what it is. Hothing usually helps. That sucks.
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