Well up comes another reality. I'm afraid that I could loose my insurance.....

After 9 years of working for my company my boss is thinking about putting me as part time while I go through the chemo. And hiring someone to pick up the hours.

We don't know how I'm going to react to chemo yet..... I guess they just want to plan ahead.

I don't want to go part time. I've made it back to work 2 weeks after a hysterectomy. I've made it into work when I've been sick with colds, etc. The only time I've really missed work in 9 years was when I was either hospitalized and twice for migraine headaches or once for an abscessed tooth that swelled from my jaw to my chest. If I have a Doctors appointment I've try ed to schedule them off of work hours and then when I couldn't....I'd make it back to work as soon as I was done.

"Maybe I should have hid this from work.... maybe I should not have told them."

In my Company part time means loosing my Insurance. I can't afford chemo without it. I don't know anyone who could....

I told Jimmy last night that maybe we should consider not going through the therapy. But he knows my Liver won't survive much longer than a few years....he said it's not an option. I know it's not.....but I also know that without insurance we can't do it.

"I just don't know how much more "news" I can handle this year. I just don't know.
I can not go part time and loose my insurance."

I can not loose my job. As much as I hate the place sometimes....I love it and I love working with my best friend. For 9 years she's been my sister and at times my mother. I don't know how I could go through the next year without her across from me giving me strength and support.

I didn't expect this to be piled on top of everything else.

"Once again....I'm scared"

My future with Hep C becomes even darker and I haven't even started chemo yet.