Day 93

Yesterday I was getting so much better. I hardly had any nausea and even though I'm still weak and a little dizzy, I know that my levels are going back up. Ducky is coming home.

I took half a shot of Nuepogen last night and I think it screwed me up a little this morning. Not as bad as a full shot, my arms are aching slightly but at least they are throbbing like i usually get with the full shot. I have that washed out feeling and I really didn't want to get out of bed this morning. But all and all, now that I'm up, maybe I'll be able to shake this off.

I go for my blood work this morning at the local Hospital. My fingers are crossed that it turns out good and I don't have to have a transfusion. I don't think I will because I'm feeling better. My worry now is more about being put back on the study drug and the Interferon. I'm praying that they don't put me back on full strength again as it will make my levels fall all over again.

I really need to have a few days with my friend Ducky. I need to mentally have a break away from feeling bad. I know I've been undetectable.....but after feeling so bad for so long I tend to loose focus on what being undetectable really means. I forget why I'm doing all of this.

Just a couple of days of feeling good would make my mind so much stronger.

I guess I'm just getting tired and there are soooo many more weeks to go. I try not to look at them. I try to focus on the 24 week mark and getting myself off of the trial drug. I realize that tx will still have it's ups and downs even after the trial drug is gone.....but with less drugs going into my system I imagine that there would just have to been less sides.

Time will tell.

For today I'll try to punch through this fog and find ducky....